From: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpGS6jTx7R
To: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PCype8Ghy
Subject: please tell me you like Helvetica
important question:105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vvJlkH4zM
how do you feel about fonts?
i ask because my actual groupmate eli (aka The Betrayer) sent his entire breakup text to his ex in freaking Comic Sans.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqm8HV8hkbF
it was 6 paragraphs. with emojis.
i feel secondhand heartbreak AND secondhand shame.
— maya105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6d5ay7adUi
helvetica loyalist
From: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofeJlyXtsV
To: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNo7k1VhaOK
Subject: font crimes are real
comic sans?? for a breakup??105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsB9BKeTmfm
he deserves jail. like... maximum security. solitary confinement with only wingdings as company.
you’re right to be distressed.
ps: helvetica supremacy.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1iuxOfy3c
pps: do i get to hear the breakup text in full? asking for... educational purposes.
— eli105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsxRZyRhT4
font snob & emotionally nosy
From: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxVnrRFMgR
To: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGkJn0BPha
Subject: for academic suffering only
fine. you brought this upon yourself.
[BEGIN TEXT DUMP]
“hey babe 🥺 i just think we’re like, not vibing anymore 😔105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgWZS9TLdD
i’ll always care abt u but i gotta find myself.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBgawUP3l8
ur amazing 💕 don’t let anyone tell u diff.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSMLf2Iwub
also i still want my hoodie back lol 💔”105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsblT8CShb
[END SUFFERING]
i’m genuinely unwell. my skin crawled.
— maya
From: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq4poB73pZ
To: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTIdn8Y44a
Subject: oh no.
MAYA.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSebDocqko
that man committed emotional damage and aesthetic violence in one go.
🥺 + Comic Sans + “lol” in a breakup???105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTx5cqM83f8
my soul just left my body.
i vote we ban him from fonts. and feelings.
— eli
From: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOhLo2IYgA
To: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyy54iznNcx
Subject: font ban confirmed
i hereby sentence him to only use Papyrus.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjGtC1HMwq
and never speak of feelings again.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAOOapDBZK
the hoodie has been burned for symbolic healing. 🔥
question:105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwpIigoewj
what would you write in a breakup text?105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBoelQcRtp
(no pressure. purely hypothetical. totally not judging.)
— maya105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIpO0ffU9n
font judge, emotional auditor
From: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgTZUfhATj
To: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWwU0sG3g2
Subject: okay wow pressure much
okay this feels like a trap but fine.
i’d probably go for something honest.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Rh9pBPQWS
not a novel. no 🥺 emojis. something like:
“this isn’t easy. you’re someone i care about deeply,105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4jyl7YjJQ
but i’m not in the right place to give you what you deserve.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6LNdYdlMk
i hope you find someone who can.”
then i’d ghost myself out of embarrassment.
is that... too sincere for an email friendship?
— eli
From: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHup2bAt8q
To: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ETbjdTmi0
Subject: okay rude now i’m feeling things
eli.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbIGvt77hp
that was weirdly lovely.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEc0z9kEL57
and now i feel weird for judging people who cry at fonts.
also: are we email friends now?105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CSG7daJee
was there a form i missed?105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLQXoMwavj
should i be sending muffins?
— maya105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppwEwFJIIK
emotionally compromised, probably baking
From: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡws8KlfMJLY
To: [email protected]105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnFYbnR28u
Subject: it’s official
congrats.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cge0870U6
you are now contractually my accidental email friend.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvMrPSajxF
no muffins required, just vibes and inbox chaos.
although.105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4O07WsOJQ
if you did bake, i wouldn’t say no.
— eli105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafdvB6BQPQ
friend of font victims
105Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7acK73t0Y
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