0.5狀態 - 第八章——大一

「她比我漂亮？」妻子不明所以。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ejl8WgGsx
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「你更漂亮。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzD9XjaSoJ
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「我不夠溫柔？」妻子淚眼汪汪。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNnDxW2R4O
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「你比她更溫柔。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oerb8bMdg
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「為何你會跟她在一起？」妻子渴求答案。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRSwLm5oJ2
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「因為她是沒有重量的零。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAOP3ns3Lg
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「你瘋了！」妻子拂袖離開，帶著女兒到娘家去。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fszCwOA49
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「我只是肩痛而已。」大一坐在梳化上乾笑，肩痛突然舒緩不少。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMz18QoQX7o
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點菸，濃，嗆。他沒有告訴妻子，自己已兩個月沒有跟阿零聯絡。他對阿零不懷情意。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVqUx2ctvq
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阿零從不是第三者，而是一個交易對象。交易完成，各散東西，不再是對方的誰，直至彼此進行下一單交易。他喜歡沒有重量的關係，不論交易對象是誰。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVv155QYO1
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夜。肚餓。下樓買菸去。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazlwPK0Hri
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賣菸的店家隨處可見，但大一下意識多走兩個街口，到某報攤買菸。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvcT7Ff0Hk
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他在此初遇妻子……403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAEujo4Bct
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買菸的他悄悄看著她揀雜誌、付款、開步走、消失於街角不復見。突然明瞭何謂「空」。他自己就是一個活生生的例子，空虛空洞空蕩蕩。她以沒有重量的關係在他心裡留下最實在的痕跡。大一記住了她，每次下樓買菸都會特意多走兩個街口，直至再次遇上她。大一叫住她。話語間沒有「愛」，只有「不愛」——他不愛空空如也的自己……403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9a0Bx6suCD
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驟雨。大一在報攤尼龍幕下抽菸。白煙冉升，輕，淡，飄，渺。憶起曾經的自己，想像將來的自己，同是不折不扣的零。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCmlzc3Q5C
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心悸。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjR5f7sk6qh
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他清楚知道自己生來就是零。他討厭當零，努力改變，想要成為大家生命裡的唯一。做到了，奈何自己卻吃不消、捱不住，痛苦得親手將一切撥歸原點。零。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9i4eTeVdvS
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零，是那個女生的名字，也是大一的人生寫照。這是大一在交友程式相中阿零的原因——他懷念曾經的他，曾經的他才是自己和妻子之間的第三者，阿零就是曾經的他。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvdE356eHa
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禁不住向阿零傳送了一則訊息。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3a1Ow92Izg
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「有空嗎？」

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