[我們做的東西才不會爆炸]517Please respect copyright.PENANAOcIaKzG0VM
517Please respect copyright.PENANAOCibXJDGtW
地精跟哥布林是一體同源只是稱呼上有差別,不過可以了解的是它們做的東西都會爆炸。517Please respect copyright.PENANASXpIns26bO
517Please respect copyright.PENANAyWei8G1IbJ
地精跟侏儒不一樣,不過名稱常搞混,還有侏儒做得東西不會爆炸。517Please respect copyright.PENANA013WwbA5mb
517Please respect copyright.PENANAhFDfTbac3d
這座島上有一堆侏儒跟地精,地精總以為他們跟侏儒是同種人,而對岸的哥布林認為地精跟它們是同族,地精又說侏儒跟它們同族,所以哥布林跟侏儒應該是同族。517Please respect copyright.PENANAt97OKWC10M
517Please respect copyright.PENANAFwkj4mXV7d
侏儒心裡很明白我們不是地精也不是哥布林,而且侏儒也知道我們做的東西才不會爆炸。517Please respect copyright.PENANAye2nXGXvFZ
517Please respect copyright.PENANAVDMLLsG4lL
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517Please respect copyright.PENANA6KWzFv15RI
地精做的東西都會爆炸,所以他們認為爆炸是很正常的。517Please respect copyright.PENANAVV2u6F3LDr
517Please respect copyright.PENANAP1kISjrqci
侏儒可不這麼認為,會爆炸就代表是瑕疵品,會爆炸就可能有死傷。517Please respect copyright.PENANA69oSxQg5UU
517Please respect copyright.PENANAoUgv3Wimtt
有一陣子地精跟侏儒在爭吵「半永續魔石能源爐」的設置。517Please respect copyright.PENANAnJB745vbYW
517Please respect copyright.PENANA1rzYEdwgsY
這實在是時代的錯誤,地精那偉大的先代大酋長(已故)妄想開發出可以打倒哥布林酋長的魔法兵器,而這種魔法兵器需要半永續魔法能源爐排出的廢礦。517Please respect copyright.PENANA2NDT6BhLiZ
517Please respect copyright.PENANAKBlyptW1gJ
所以地精們一口氣蓋了三座舊型爐,現在還想蓋第四座。要不是後來東方的精靈大人察覺了大酋長的野心,恐怕現在島上已經十幾座了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAiguGatk2ZD
517Please respect copyright.PENANA7NArk8lO1i
後來好不容易地精們有機會做第四座,可是這下侏儒們就不爽了,這島就這麼小,只要其中一個能源爐爆炸大概會有一半的地方受到汙染不能住人,你還想蓋第四座?517Please respect copyright.PENANAOn33DXqozO
517Please respect copyright.PENANA8snyKARafl
這是想留島不留侏儒嗎?517Please respect copyright.PENANASmki909hcE
517Please respect copyright.PENANABudtJjclMY
地精當然不這麼想,爆炸很正常,它們反而覺得前三座能源爐不爆炸太不正常了,這一定是侏儒們細心維護的結果。517Please respect copyright.PENANAWGRHTjUneL
517Please respect copyright.PENANA9qBzcbGPcc
這不符合地精的風格,是的地精把東西蓋完就不管了,基本上的維護都是侏儒來做的。517Please respect copyright.PENANAVDhnZJHzTj
517Please respect copyright.PENANAK91uq3BjKX
誰叫侏儒是個有責任感的種族呢?更不用說,有些侏儒為了這件事還被其他侏儒當成叛徒呢。517Please respect copyright.PENANACvuU3cYtGO
517Please respect copyright.PENANAkBpmHCyFWf
就不想想真要爆炸了是算在誰身上?倒楣的還是侏儒啊。517Please respect copyright.PENANAAsm049qV1R
517Please respect copyright.PENANAwV2FfIB5Dz
至於地精?他們大不了爆炸了回去西方跟哥布林們討生活而已,侏儒可是沒地方可去了,但那又跟地精們何干呢?517Please respect copyright.PENANA98246Di458
517Please respect copyright.PENANAQhf0cukVXB
地精向來就是自私的,只想到自己的事,就跟哥布林一樣。517Please respect copyright.PENANAeof7sANceJ
517Please respect copyright.PENANAds5IDJCYXp
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517Please respect copyright.PENANAsMos4F05xU
其實追根究柢,地精做的東西會爆炸跟它們的民族性脫不了關係。517Please respect copyright.PENANAOsBiVCA0qZ
517Please respect copyright.PENANATJ9bjkEIer
他們真的很容易搞混東西,可以把攝氏十度跟十公分單位搞混,當然不用期待他們做的東西品質良好。517Please respect copyright.PENANAxlyVNQUEMM
517Please respect copyright.PENANApWHziigWUc
侏儒都知道魔法道具的品質跟製作者的數學觀念好壞有很大的關連性,這個很重要的概念,地精是沒有的。517Please respect copyright.PENANALMtflL2mXm
517Please respect copyright.PENANAbvgk8zK9el
「只要看起來沒問題就行了,你們怎麼這麼挑?」517Please respect copyright.PENANAUIXf0PLwAr
517Please respect copyright.PENANAtmv6RLBwUp
這是地精最喜歡掛在嘴邊的話,當然,哥布林也喜歡。517Please respect copyright.PENANAo59xKGPdU7
517Please respect copyright.PENANA74lIq0jaPy
所以說,只要看起來沒問題的話,地精根本不在意那麼多,當然囉,嗜錢如命的地精只要能夠節省成本,標準要多寬就會有多寬。517Please respect copyright.PENANAB8fT8lWJ2Z
517Please respect copyright.PENANAAkLkHLhuNf
最有名的莫過於某件假油製造案。517Please respect copyright.PENANAv8t6Sii9yf
517Please respect copyright.PENANA7gEsJHmnn9
大家都知道食用油跟煉金術合成後得到的廢油產物是不同的,前者能吃,後者不能吃。517Please respect copyright.PENANApb8aohzyle
517Please respect copyright.PENANACnCNuVn99B
有個地精商人不知道哪來的點子,竟然回收煉金術合成後的廢油重新精煉調味,製造出看起來可以吃的食用油。517Please respect copyright.PENANAHJp68o7i5u
517Please respect copyright.PENANARx7ENtxRQv
這新聞被好事的妖精們爆料出來後,侏儒紛紛發起了對這位地精商人的抵制運動。517Please respect copyright.PENANAymj9tO1k20
517Please respect copyright.PENANApjOx4Gt0jy
那時候人心惶惶,倒是一堆地精拿那些廢油再製品炸東西,賣給不知情的侏儒跟外地人。517Please respect copyright.PENANALObKnI9elm
517Please respect copyright.PENANAwo8xgGuCfP
不為什麼,就是便宜啊。天然的食用油算是加工品,會消耗大量的橄欖或牲畜。但煉金術廢油一開始就是不用錢了,甚至餘回收廢油,煉金術師還得另外付一筆錢給你。517Please respect copyright.PENANAhrrkblVDvm
517Please respect copyright.PENANA8tQOXuveqw
無本生意是人人做,有了一個就會有第二個,等到妖精們把消息都傳出去後,侏儒們才知道這十幾年它們吃的東西到底有多噁心。517Please respect copyright.PENANAQxGdQEUkjH
517Please respect copyright.PENANANapnFB6C6n
可是那些地精哪管這些?這錢賺得可爽了,看起來能吃就行了,檢驗也符合標準啊!517Please respect copyright.PENANAEmYKYOTJl5
517Please respect copyright.PENANA1UaaOoOydF
大多數的地精都是這樣想著:517Please respect copyright.PENANA07B6w2cDf3
517Please respect copyright.PENANA1VibNsFYtJ
侏儒們的身體太弱了,才會拒絕吃這種油,真是沒出息。517Please respect copyright.PENANAvWStW03T5M
517Please respect copyright.PENANA6aXXm5uT7q
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517Please respect copyright.PENANAhMAGIW2bGi
如果你以為地精們都是笨蛋,那你就錯了。所有的地精都有其狡猾的一面,小看它們可是會吃不完兜著走。517Please respect copyright.PENANA8TWgxZC1KG
517Please respect copyright.PENANApC8yMcSEuI
事實上,地精的數字觀念並不輸給侏儒。只不過他們在意的數字只跟金錢有關,與金錢無關的數字他們是會選擇性無視的。517Please respect copyright.PENANAALiYpHfp1q
517Please respect copyright.PENANAHvpw8xH3QT
地精對自己子女最常問的問題是:517Please respect copyright.PENANAklrj1hcSax
517Please respect copyright.PENANArsaTh2qTUk
「你做這個有甚麼用?是能賺到錢嗎?」517Please respect copyright.PENANAejdk1R2XP7
517Please respect copyright.PENANAK25oK1DqYA
這句話就是地精的核心價值,對它們來說有沒有用跟他能不能賺到錢有關。517Please respect copyright.PENANAl6sTyXwUS7
517Please respect copyright.PENANAysHMPG2ql0
所以賠錢貨跟無法賺錢的東西都是沒有用的廢物,是可以捨棄的。517Please respect copyright.PENANAqvtZ7WNKg2
517Please respect copyright.PENANAmF2p9xwTUc
並不是說錢不重要,侏儒也很重視錢,沒有金錢很多事都做不到。517Please respect copyright.PENANA9hMLQfRovb
517Please respect copyright.PENANA1frWWpRPwq
每一個有理智的侏儒都知道,金錢只是一個工具,它不能成為一個價值觀。517Please respect copyright.PENANA11OyQNI9uC
517Please respect copyright.PENANALd4JojZgCi
但是對地精來說,金錢就是它們的價值觀。517Please respect copyright.PENANAX5wMqnFODF
517Please respect copyright.PENANAi47l3buLKk
為了金錢,它們可以犧牲一切,包括自己在內。517Please respect copyright.PENANAviIwOVPjwf
517Please respect copyright.PENANATeXeIWVXJk
當然我們不能說這樣的價值觀是錯誤的,但是搭配上地精的差不多先生民族性,這就很要命了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAVdwygP4XUx
517Please respect copyright.PENANAOt3yhq7blt
魔法工業用酒精跟食用酒是差不多的,可是魔法工業用酒精很便宜,我們就拿這個當酒來賣吧!517Please respect copyright.PENANAfVwMKNOtYc
517Please respect copyright.PENANA1f3I7iZPDW
魔法工業用明礬跟可食用明礬看起來一樣,可是魔法工業用明礬比較便宜,所以我們就…517Please respect copyright.PENANAbaK51NZO08
517Please respect copyright.PENANAk7Nheyx3em
塑化劑跟起雲劑加到食物裡面造成的效果看起來差不多,可是塑化劑比較便宜,所以我們就…517Please respect copyright.PENANAy9NEA2Z12c
517Please respect copyright.PENANAdXpbXbXH3f
嘿!地精的難兄難弟哥布林們也常幹一樣的事情,看他們之前把魔法變出來的毒牛奶當成真的牛奶賣就…517Please respect copyright.PENANAdUDMzUF8jy
517Please respect copyright.PENANAQdiIPZurde
這些層出不窮的案例不是只有在食物上面,舉凡交通、建築、衣服等都有。517Please respect copyright.PENANAXgUqXG5tc0
517Please respect copyright.PENANAcgDSvvpFNj
搞得侏儒人心惶惶,不管做甚麼都怕遇到劣質商品。517Please respect copyright.PENANAKciN8qNmqH
517Please respect copyright.PENANAM3raBlGGgC
可能有人有疑問,那些地精跟哥布林們就不怕嗎?517Please respect copyright.PENANAPfXGc6N3EM
517Please respect copyright.PENANAx0uC6Mjk5z
當然不怕,只要看到那些黃澄澄的金幣,他們開心都來不及了,還怕甚麼?517Please respect copyright.PENANAabKB3XLm23
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地精可以說是最沒有同理心的種族,它們很少用同理心去跟思考事情。517Please respect copyright.PENANABtkSJCRPrT
517Please respect copyright.PENANACYXCwegxFv
如果有一件事對它們自己有利卻對其他人有害,它們就算知道了也會毫不猶豫地去做。517Please respect copyright.PENANAGqOb5VEfSx
517Please respect copyright.PENANAkcOvAunwIc
沒有比地精還要自私的種族了,哥布林除外。517Please respect copyright.PENANAVc2KKPPKT9
517Please respect copyright.PENANANBhpILJzzp
跟地精打交道是很浪費時間的一件事,其一是它們很狡猾,其二是它們無法理解他人的困難。517Please respect copyright.PENANANsEUCBamfs
517Please respect copyright.PENANA4TdeKAHD3l
這點就連地精工程師自己都覺得很煩,是的,再強調一次,連它們自己都覺得很煩。517Please respect copyright.PENANAlDMrCLAxir
517Please respect copyright.PENANAqTXaPgnbF0
地精商人在要求工程施行時最喜歡說的一句話就是:517Please respect copyright.PENANAPImlrRrXTQ
517Please respect copyright.PENANAd1fYp5mzeq
「我不管,你們一定要在時限內完成,無法完成是你們自己的問題。」517Please respect copyright.PENANApqDKGxKWv7
517Please respect copyright.PENANAcIyxfKpkDC
同樣的意思放在不同人嘴裡會有不同的表現:517Please respect copyright.PENANAsr3KlyE7TB
517Please respect copyright.PENANAH06dOaYG5s
「考不好是你努力不夠,是你自己的問題。」517Please respect copyright.PENANAqjFCnbUt6I
517Please respect copyright.PENANAGQGpECWqaK
「薪水低是你不夠努力,是你自己的問題。」517Please respect copyright.PENANAt8hBXKj7sj
517Please respect copyright.PENANAHe53JJPrfo
「無法使用魔法是你不夠努力,是你自己的問題。」517Please respect copyright.PENANAAtF1nXYUKu
517Please respect copyright.PENANAsBHwbWCVGn
附帶一提,地精的魔法天賦簡直是負的,它們的種族從未誕生過一個魔法師。但他們總會選擇性迴避這個問題,假裝魔法師這個職業並不存在。517Please respect copyright.PENANAZIAbvgrQZ6
517Please respect copyright.PENANAykheXeKW8X
過去,地精的老大哥哥布林們曾經大肆獵殺國內的魔法師跟巫師。很顯然地對這對難兄難弟來說,解決問題的關鍵永遠都在他人身上,而不是自己身上。517Please respect copyright.PENANAqEzqvXcE6C
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大多數的地精都有點小聰明,該佔便宜的時候毫不留情。517Please respect copyright.PENANATUxc6aydph
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但這些地精被騙的機率也大到不可思議。517Please respect copyright.PENANAWDtTRbxWti
517Please respect copyright.PENANApycuT7Pex9
那些受騙的地精總是有一堆藉口可以說服自己被騙,比方說:517Please respect copyright.PENANAsmFP1BJram
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「我那麼聰明,一定不會被騙。」517Please respect copyright.PENANAfmI8sQoXfq
517Please respect copyright.PENANAnlRM4qTZcL
「人家跟我是親友,不會那麼過分。」517Please respect copyright.PENANAQvFzHiOg6l
517Please respect copyright.PENANAlNkUtwCXLX
「是我運氣太好,抽到大獎正常。」517Please respect copyright.PENANAJg3oDf5S3k
517Please respect copyright.PENANAaK43AOnAJC
「不可能那麼倒楣就被我遇上。」517Please respect copyright.PENANAt9det8wgoI
517Please respect copyright.PENANAmPESS6xI2N
很遺憾地,不幸遇上詐欺事件後,財物損失的機率幾乎是百分之百。517Please respect copyright.PENANADSCi07xW64
517Please respect copyright.PENANAoSi9ktowDK
常常就有地精傻傻地在魔法師銀行裡面利用魔法傳送了一些金幣給騙徒後,才在事後發現被騙而捶胸頓足懊悔不已。517Please respect copyright.PENANA4gjV2MlkvJ
517Please respect copyright.PENANAKkzS65zTrE
更好笑的是,大多數的地精都是被自己人給騙了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAg3Wc6D62KA
517Please respect copyright.PENANA2wdaPXSeDy
是的,只有地精懂得怎麼騙地精,地精是世界上最狡詐的種族,也是最愚蠢的種族。517Please respect copyright.PENANAZeWUy8boWU
517Please respect copyright.PENANANnoYZv5e9P
這個世界各種高級詐欺都是在地精手上發揚光大的。517Please respect copyright.PENANA3LP1Xyoa2U
517Please respect copyright.PENANADT5cHpCUeH
最有名的就是「飛馬彩券詐欺」案件。517Please respect copyright.PENANAQZcGjWLRsu
517Please respect copyright.PENANARBcTgg4BqW
飛馬彩券是由飛馬通運公司發行,這間公司的老闆為了吸引客人使用他們的貨運服務,想到了利用彩券的點子。517Please respect copyright.PENANA1U2V5CJsVh
517Please respect copyright.PENANAA3tyFb7azq
只要使用郵件服務就會在收件者的信件裡夾一張飛馬彩券,只要刮開彩券的魔法塗層就會看到一組符文,符文記載的內容就是彩券的獎品。517Please respect copyright.PENANAHQdSpnqYCA
517Please respect copyright.PENANATxY1AfSwRD
透過這樣的方式,公司的業績也扶搖直上。但不久後就被一些有心的地精偽造各種山寨的彩券,夾雜在飛馬公司負責的郵件裡面。517Please respect copyright.PENANAgDaf7i59Vu
517Please respect copyright.PENANA5e2RIft7RG
這彩券的中獎率自然是百分之百,金額也高得嚇人。所以收到彩券的地精在刮開彩券的當下通常會興奮地找不著北,然後順著彩券上記載的魔法通訊號碼,拿起魔法傳聲機撥號過來。517Please respect copyright.PENANAJ4hgUin8aa
517Please respect copyright.PENANA4sXLoWC7RW
當然這獎品是注定拿不到的,但詐騙集團的地精會巧立各種名目,說為了政府法規或者運費等等,要求對方先匯出一筆不小的金額。517Please respect copyright.PENANAJNyCzvCFgc
517Please respect copyright.PENANAqJY6BBEKsI
然後就沒有然後了,獎品不可能給人,錢也拿不回來了。只有被騙的地精整天望眼欲穿地等著,直到他發現自己受騙為止。517Please respect copyright.PENANA0cB0mSKRWk
517Please respect copyright.PENANA8RkIrqtiKc
聽說受害者高達萬人,總詐騙金額少說一千萬枚金幣。而遭受池魚之殃的飛馬通運公司在此之後信用破產,營運不擅而倒閉了。517Please respect copyright.PENANArpTzg6fPPk
517Please respect copyright.PENANAILeu8Fh8mZ
但是類似類型的彩券詐欺依然沒有消蝕,反而以各種不同形式混入了其他貨運公司的信件中,直到現在依然有腦筋不太好的老地精會被假的彩券獎品誘惑,最後騙光身上所有的退休金老本。517Please respect copyright.PENANAt4BG1VXSmT
517Please respect copyright.PENANAoizYjFRKiV
而那些詐欺犯地精呢?呵呵,就算真的被警察給抓了,也不過關個幾年就能出獄。如果關幾年就能騙到幾百萬金幣,那還真的沒甚麼地精會怕。 517Please respect copyright.PENANAkP7k2pFsHA
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說到這裡,就不得不批評一下地精的賭性堅強。517Please respect copyright.PENANA1ZQWoh1GWz
517Please respect copyright.PENANAwzhPYqpj7m
地精非常愛賭博,他們對賭博的怨念遠大於其他種族。517Please respect copyright.PENANAzAFyVp7iMF
517Please respect copyright.PENANAW2XMQfoB13
對於西方的精靈來說賭博是一種娛樂,但是對地精來說,賭博就是一種賺錢投資。517Please respect copyright.PENANA5xDIoeY91x
517Please respect copyright.PENANA1veJ9yKFlm
可能有人會認為投資一樣有風險,跟賭博差不多吧?517Please respect copyright.PENANAWHUbyBAXGc
517Please respect copyright.PENANAGNgY96LJ2l
是的,看起來的確是差不多沒錯。所以對地精來說,這兩樣東西就是同一樣東西了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAKqD6cQXcLl
517Please respect copyright.PENANAziDNVyq0n9
只有侏儒知道賭博跟投資的差別在哪裡,差異最多就是那個時間。517Please respect copyright.PENANAdxvHUWf6N2
517Please respect copyright.PENANArAZtYUPeVg
賭博的勝負都是即時的居多,你下注,然後賭贏了就贏得報酬。投資不是,投資是你將錢才投入某項資產中,然後隨著時間演變,資產升值,你的投資才能得到報酬。517Please respect copyright.PENANAyIU0FlesRM
517Please respect copyright.PENANAlMrrsYmxRl
地精才不想搞懂這些複雜的東西,大多數的地精都很急性子。517Please respect copyright.PENANATuCpyNl9SC
517Please respect copyright.PENANAfGTpN3H51a
他們沒有耐心知道投資利基在哪,風險多高,又要花多少時間才能回收成本。517Please respect copyright.PENANABZ990r5vNK
517Please respect copyright.PENANADMV8joToeX
寧願去賭機率,賭運氣,錢甩出去就要馬上看到獲利。517Please respect copyright.PENANAUe9kqd6kZv
517Please respect copyright.PENANAyo0jndsAg1
地精們早就賭習慣了,為了滿足他們的賭癮,島上的政府還聯合幾家魔法師銀行開創了一種叫做「樂透」的魔法機器。517Please respect copyright.PENANAGMiI2TCVkL
517Please respect copyright.PENANAniwd3BQnBY
每隔二四六機器就會吐出一長串的數字,只要有地精用這組數字買樂透券,他就可以贏得所有買樂透券賭金的二分之一。517Please respect copyright.PENANAM9fMWmO6B0
517Please respect copyright.PENANANDCcRay5zn
欸?你說剩下的二分之一賭金去哪了?當然是進政府跟銀行口袋了啊,不然怎麼會只有二分之一?517Please respect copyright.PENANAzRPSGi6olf
517Please respect copyright.PENANAMn5ZXHqx0B
當然,為了照顧社會大眾的觀感,主辦的政府跟銀行都說「我們會拿出彩金的一部份來照顧弱勢族群」,至於拿多少那就不知道了。517Please respect copyright.PENANArSpNiXOmqO
517Please respect copyright.PENANA6nXdJW6Qaz
如果你以為這個「樂透魔法」是獨創的,那你又錯了,幾十年前,就有地精們想出一種叫做「六喝蔡」的魔法機器,運作模式跟簽賭方式幾乎跟「樂透」一模一樣。差別在於一個是政府跟銀行帶頭,一個是私人帶頭。517Please respect copyright.PENANAIssIlAWIZJ
517Please respect copyright.PENANAHnGCLBOxCq
後來因為「六喝蔡」的魔法機器太容易被邪惡的法師入侵操縱,加上私有的簽賭組織收完錢後,常有地精會捲款潛逃,結果玩得人就越來越少了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAgAGgWf69cb
517Please respect copyright.PENANAL79KQzbNaZ
除了「六喝蔡」、「樂透」以外,地精們還有「運動彩券」、「傌蔣」、「波青割」等多采多姿的賭博方式。517Please respect copyright.PENANAnFP368Kj5U
517Please respect copyright.PENANAzt9Zl3ESyL
要談賭博,還真的沒有哪個種族比地精還要感興趣的。不過奇怪的是,地精們非常不喜歡賭場。517Please respect copyright.PENANATAcmaFu5YS
517Please respect copyright.PENANAKXzuQoSShh
島上的政府是有提案建設賭場過,可是因為地精們奇怪的道德觀,竟然就被否決了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAlhPYazjo1V
517Please respect copyright.PENANA5jYnfjleru
一個如此愛好賭博的種族卻會排斥賭場,這對島上的侏儒們來說始終是一個難解的謎。517Please respect copyright.PENANAayYsutw042
517Please respect copyright.PENANAInRBuimhuP
※517Please respect copyright.PENANA8FwdxRxOd2
517Please respect copyright.PENANAKDSus66num
其實地精還是會做投資的,它們最喜歡的投資叫做「方地鏟」517Please respect copyright.PENANASCoAE78vlY
517Please respect copyright.PENANAm2ADeMD87F
這個「方地鏟」說穿了,就是用一種叫做「地鏟」的魔法道具把一塊土地劃為己有,然後標上一個價值後等人來收購。因為這種魔法道具大多是方形的,所以就被稱為「方地鏟」。517Please respect copyright.PENANAqZyzuOTStu
517Please respect copyright.PENANAmZ2a4gjJIi
被「方地鏟」的土地除非得到那塊魔法道具,不然是無法在土地上進行任何行為。517Please respect copyright.PENANAtQ0mNqYE3S
517Please respect copyright.PENANAuYT87Jlj0j
身為地精這個種族,既然有個地字,自然是很重視土地的。地精們認為土地是有價值的,所以買賣土地也是一種投資行為。517Please respect copyright.PENANATnWY3Igd2t
517Please respect copyright.PENANAj7t1yyh877
當然,我們不能說這樣做很荒謬,畢竟價值是看人決定的。517Please respect copyright.PENANAeibk5Ml7Sr
517Please respect copyright.PENANAqYpr6zO75j
但是地精們把「方地鏟」投資玩到一個簡直可以說是走火入魔的程度,那就讓人感到很無言了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAcwNmlZhi9J
517Please respect copyright.PENANAf4H2EgX4ND
這座島的土地畢竟是不多,但好歹也是能讓所有地精跟侏儒可以生活。517Please respect copyright.PENANAglmQLj89iN
517Please respect copyright.PENANAegB3RmoaRB
不可思議的是,這座島大部分的土地都被標上了價格,而且很多都是連地精自己多數人都買不起的價格。517Please respect copyright.PENANAz520iUG5TE
517Please respect copyright.PENANAd9uaY2rDbJ
是的,即使空間足夠,但這座島依然有許多地精與侏儒過著居無定所的苦日子。517Please respect copyright.PENANAMnnyNNnyI3
517Please respect copyright.PENANATjUiWDEFc0
這都是地精們瘋狂地投資「方地鏟」所帶來的禍患。517Please respect copyright.PENANAOgB4zW5HJ4
517Please respect copyright.PENANAADZL47OURz
地精們發現一件事,只要今天用錢買下一塊「方地鏟」,過沒多久這塊「方地鏟」的價格就會上升,到時候再賣掉就可以獲得一筆不小的利潤。517Please respect copyright.PENANApWGW4OMcjf
517Please respect copyright.PENANAlrOsl9W8RN
那些地精們都很聰明,它們覺得沒有「方地鏟」的人鐵定是需要買「方地鏟」才有地方住的,所以它們只要有錢就會想盡辦法買「方地鏟」來投資,等待獲利。517Please respect copyright.PENANAt7tfcXjD8d
517Please respect copyright.PENANA1q4aLAYs0p
甚至有更聰明的地精認為既然我賣了就有錢賺,那我為什麼不借錢來買呢?只要把土地賣了馬上就能還錢了,根本不用擔心會賠錢啊。517Please respect copyright.PENANAwIhCN0Ym6Z
517Please respect copyright.PENANA58wtCOFLWI
於是乎越來越多地精投入了「方地鏟」的投資行列中,為了賺更多錢,他們還會用越來越高的價格來買「方地鏟」,這種行為又被稱作「超方地鏟」。517Please respect copyright.PENANAEDFUxEYR6C
517Please respect copyright.PENANATOvCrglCsd
地精們做事都是不考慮後果的,很快地島上所有非政府管理的土地都被「方地鏟」了。而「方地鏟」的價格也跟著水漲船高,高到多數人都買不起的程度。517Please respect copyright.PENANAvyTZGpz69T
517Please respect copyright.PENANAPmdiH3vTok
這些地精們還不知足,連政府管理的土地都想透過非法手段來「方地鏟」呢!517Please respect copyright.PENANA8UEk9E1t74
517Please respect copyright.PENANAIvcynqefoO
甚至為了避免「方地鏟」貶值,它們不惜賄賂多嘴的妖精們,到處散布「方地鏟」是很熱門的好投資,連哥布林跟精靈們都喜歡買個島上的「方地鏟」來保值。517Please respect copyright.PENANAtTrTcH69gC
517Please respect copyright.PENANAnMvjH9WvAd
事實上,跟地精同族的歌布林也很喜歡投資方地鏟沒錯,哥布林商人跟地精商人一樣都很愛投資低風險的資產,而不會損耗,有認主不會被偷走的「方地鏟」就成了他們最愛的商品。517Please respect copyright.PENANAvQn14kTkkv
517Please respect copyright.PENANA2dw0oyukdW
但地精們不知道的是,哥布林其實也是拿島上政府的借來的金幣在投資「方地鏟」的。比如說那個號稱島上最高的「異靈異大樓」就是由某位假裝自己是歸島地精的哥布林商人,跟島上政府借錢加上以投資股票的名義跟地精收來的金幣買下。517Please respect copyright.PENANAzOskLG2iUO
517Please respect copyright.PENANAUNHKIraAYr
如果你覺得到此為止還是正常的投資行為的話請往下看,你會發現地精們為了「超方地鏟」簡直無所不用其極。517Please respect copyright.PENANANBefuVC6PV
517Please respect copyright.PENANAAsH18eU7N5
比方說要政府在整個島上蓋滿魔法列車軌道,即使魔法列車軌道本身營運會虧損也要每隔幾公里就設一站。因為只要有車站加持「方地鏟」的價格就會暴漲。517Please respect copyright.PENANAnG2A5JZdQa
517Please respect copyright.PENANAhMBA1PDeXW
不准政府蓋孤兒院、養老院、精神病院,因為這些會害「方地鏟」的價格暴跌。517Please respect copyright.PENANAfBFndMWGA5
517Please respect copyright.PENANATBccs0FXMO
不准政府蓋社會住宅,因為社會住宅可能引來罪犯跟窮人,會害「方地鏟」暴跌。517Please respect copyright.PENANAFZyqHDioPp
517Please respect copyright.PENANAi8ZnPahZpn
拿錢給妖精們,要他們散播「現在進場投資方地鏟馬上就能大賺特賺」的謠言,試圖製造「方地鏟」還很多人想要買的假象。517Please respect copyright.PENANAiKdKTX8edY
517Please respect copyright.PENANAPlbDE5RWWr
要求政府開放哥布林拿劣質的偽造金幣來買「方地鏟」,然後無視哥布林賣掉土地後拿到的都是優質金幣這件事。517Please respect copyright.PENANAJoW5qCCQr2
517Please respect copyright.PENANABVBWG7AARE
總之,那些地精們為了自己手上那個可笑的魔法道具,簡直是把整座島弄得天怒人怨。517Please respect copyright.PENANAAKjwI7Wrzj
517Please respect copyright.PENANA73EnJJXLUI
而這個投資的未來展望也越來越糟了,「方地鏟」的價值是決定於需求,而現在的價格已經高到沒有人買得起的程度。517Please respect copyright.PENANAlZCcUAlPZc
517Please respect copyright.PENANA4iGiLDbgvr
如果哪天「方地鏟」真的崩盤了,想必會有許多地精從「異靈異大樓」跳下也說不定。517Please respect copyright.PENANASwiGkHyi38
517Please respect copyright.PENANAAEeSx9slOg
※517Please respect copyright.PENANAfuWnqT65tz
517Please respect copyright.PENANATWEUfI4dIQ
從「喜歡立即看到收益」跟「喜歡買毫無意義的方地鏟囤積獲利」兩點來看,我們可以發現地精的矛盾性格。517Please respect copyright.PENANA3GzxHmTxsT
517Please respect copyright.PENANAd0JXX5snqP
賺得越快的錢風險越大,但是方地鏟這種東西風險卻極小。兩者理論上是相衝突的,但是很多地精都希望能同時達到兩者。517Please respect copyright.PENANAikcU2Li1UX
517Please respect copyright.PENANAA6K0pXIUhk
我們侏儒用左腳的小腳趾想都知道這不可能,但地精們卻認為這樣才叫在賺錢。517Please respect copyright.PENANAXsh8lkcrZk
517Please respect copyright.PENANAuCIvhlzkLf
而且越有錢的地精越是深信如此,這實在是很讓人感到無言。517Please respect copyright.PENANAgndFGjGMHB
517Please respect copyright.PENANA5TWokXZVg9
不只如此,地精的矛盾性格在很多方面都存在。517Please respect copyright.PENANAgQko3dYHgQ
517Please respect copyright.PENANAz4mxXLiUv1
地精們覺得物美價廉的商品才是好商品,卻不知道商品的品質與它的價格本來就該呈正比。517Please respect copyright.PENANA0w0P2CyMfu
517Please respect copyright.PENANAzK19tZoifC
地精們認為政府不應該做太多管制,卻又在自己不守法而受難遭災時拜託政府給予國賠。517Please respect copyright.PENANASiTCsZdqAR
517Please respect copyright.PENANA3szlFCR3lO
地精們不想花大錢看醫生,卻肯出高價購買魔法地下電台廣告的違法藥物。517Please respect copyright.PENANAAlkjGWqocJ
517Please respect copyright.PENANArd5qhfW9kF
地精們要求所有人都能對自己誠實,卻又老愛欺騙他人。517Please respect copyright.PENANADvhkeEZHae
517Please respect copyright.PENANAnEqcijlVka
有一個現象可以很恰當地描述這種混亂的矛盾:517Please respect copyright.PENANAk6cmS3nBff
517Please respect copyright.PENANANU0iRLW3r5
地精們在假日的時候非常喜歡去島上的一些自然景觀遊山玩水。517Please respect copyright.PENANAQQRRrArn2T
517Please respect copyright.PENANAuGPiD6L6Cp
這是好事,不只地精,妖精跟精靈,哥布林跟侏儒也會在假日的時候出去親近自然環境。517Please respect copyright.PENANAKqjtVsfqGe
517Please respect copyright.PENANAbNcrA4qf5q
但地精跟哥布林到了所謂的「自然景觀」,常常就會把手上的垃圾丟在當地,或者隨意破壞盜取各種自然造物。517Please respect copyright.PENANAm6C5w556FZ
517Please respect copyright.PENANAzQPKpfPFS0
那邊那個,就是在說你,不要拿十字鎬敲女王石的脖子好嗎?517Please respect copyright.PENANAbY4QaEQ85M
517Please respect copyright.PENANAeeGFfrpOYy
還有那邊那兩位,拜託別在神木上刻甚麼「阿明&小美一生一世」的字,這棵樹是你家種的?517Please respect copyright.PENANAakqj0OCnKv
517Please respect copyright.PENANATsgToa2B47
會喜歡去那種地方,當然是對眼前的景色賞心悅目。但你一邊欣賞一邊把手上的垃圾丟地上造成汙染髒亂,甚至手賤到要把自己正在欣賞的東西給弄壞,這到底是有甚麼毛病?517Please respect copyright.PENANA0EX0oGVnfN
517Please respect copyright.PENANAdqLaSd8a5R
沒有人會喜歡去一個滿是垃圾的地方,連地精都是如此。但也只有地精跟哥布林會一邊欣賞一邊破壞這些景觀,且完全不覺得自己這樣做有甚麼問題。517Please respect copyright.PENANACkq51YvY2r
517Please respect copyright.PENANA3FX84vWojd
真是讓人感到匪夷所思。517Please respect copyright.PENANAkCYwGlSh8g
517Please respect copyright.PENANAC2BSEtF686
※517Please respect copyright.PENANA15AvbECUfL
517Please respect copyright.PENANAF7lI6N4W88
這種矛盾也體現在地精的國際觀上。517Please respect copyright.PENANABvWgWKcOeO
517Please respect copyright.PENANABgVI66DCIp
其實地精身為哥布林的附屬,又接受了各種外來文化的衝擊,對於自身有著很強烈的自卑感。517Please respect copyright.PENANAnvkqLCmBfn
517Please respect copyright.PENANAdfo7ACJg9h
這點侏儒就沒甚麼感覺了,對侏儒來說他們可是能與精靈相提並論的古老種族,或許沒有精靈那種強烈的種族優越感,但是看的東西多了,也沒很在意要跟誰比跟誰比。517Please respect copyright.PENANAhCY6dKyIZH
517Please respect copyright.PENANA0pX4RpOEk0
哥布林對精靈一族一直有很強烈的敵視感,這其實也是一種自卑心理的防衛表象。而地精不只對哥布林,對精靈也有很矛盾的崇拜心態。517Please respect copyright.PENANAi8y89mycWb
517Please respect copyright.PENANArogiVHhOQJ
在崇尚精靈帶來的高度魔法文明前,心裡卻也對自己被文化入侵這件事感到憤慨。517Please respect copyright.PENANAxy1cHH7Pxe
517Please respect copyright.PENANAGOePTAkA5I
崇拜哥布林近年崛起的優勢,卻又覺得歌布林文化與精靈相比既粗俗又不堪入目。517Please respect copyright.PENANA3sUrPUOOZ2
517Please respect copyright.PENANA5gDzP4jmVF
在大部分的地精眼裡只有哥布林跟精靈兩個種族,頂多再加上北方的蛇人族而已,他們大多無視位在東南大洋的南諸島海族,極北方的機械人文明,認為這世界就是由精靈跟哥布林在推動的。517Please respect copyright.PENANAzwtYn93wfv
517Please respect copyright.PENANAEZwHROvRpd
原因無他,太遠了,而且語言隔閡很嚴重。517Please respect copyright.PENANA2ZSXTODv02
517Please respect copyright.PENANAv4iaOI9GyM
有些地精連精靈內部其實還有分成幾個大部落這件事也不清楚,對他們來說那些高大的長耳族全是精靈沒錯,至於是歐羅巴系統還是雅美麗加系統,他們也分不清楚。517Please respect copyright.PENANAwmPo2IyAk3
517Please respect copyright.PENANAnz1RAOA0pM
更不用說相關的地理位置、歷史淵源、習俗文化等,對地精來說他們一向在意的只有錢而已,就是這樣還想談國際觀。517Please respect copyright.PENANASXlB0rhkzR
517Please respect copyright.PENANAs6rBoXRBnR
那還真是讓人笑掉大牙就是。517Please respect copyright.PENANAgPd385ajXG
517Please respect copyright.PENANAjTbWOwCUmS
※517Please respect copyright.PENANAuyqi3hrfX5
517Please respect copyright.PENANAy5n2lea6Ie
說到這兒,就不得不提一個非常荒謬的現象,叫做「侯斯島之光」。517Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0uzJGuiIA
517Please respect copyright.PENANAtwg9zI0uPW
侯斯島就是這座島的名字,這座島除了地精跟侏儒以外,還住了半身人跟妖精。不過這兩個種族我們之後再談,先來聊聊這個侯斯島之光是怎麼回事。517Please respect copyright.PENANAGvXmnCYahL
517Please respect copyright.PENANActybL9PoWU
地精們剛到侯斯島的時候,這裡就是一個無名小島,全世界能知道這座島的人寥寥可數。517Please respect copyright.PENANA63Ext0IIXV
517Please respect copyright.PENANACEjSpYj5N6
前面說過,地精是非常有自卑感的種族,它們亟需要有個證明來宣揚自己的存在。517Please respect copyright.PENANAfqVG7xGd45
517Please respect copyright.PENANATfqe2RG8F7
於是就在種族情結、政治正確、各種天時地利的考量下,「侯斯島之光」這個稱號就誕生了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAU04qkOrqOr
517Please respect copyright.PENANAOiVE2ct93S
這個稱號的存在就是為了表揚所有在國外取得成就的地精或侏儒,只要你在島上出生,不管是否在島上生活,在日後於國際間拿到莫大成就,就會被地精們冠上這個稱號。517Please respect copyright.PENANAj1ScYxKr84
517Please respect copyright.PENANADhOyM0IFge
當然,這個成就必然是要跟錢有關的,如果你的成就看起來不值錢,地精們還不屑給你。517Please respect copyright.PENANA97GjX3Xa3u
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但如果地精們給你了,你不想要還不行。517Please respect copyright.PENANA2hmCtN5flZ
517Please respect copyright.PENANARnOZYhicIW
當然你要是以為地精們很喜歡侯斯島之光那你就錯了,地精們喜歡的是侯斯島之光帶給它們的優越感,他們並不是在喜歡侯斯島之光。517Please respect copyright.PENANAoid2likDic
517Please respect copyright.PENANAvI6D0p4EUU
好像只要把侯斯島之光掛在嘴邊,自己就能變得跟侯斯島之光一樣偉大了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAD5Jklb5DY4
517Please respect copyright.PENANAHWnBsU7SxH
但其實那只是一種錯覺,個人的偉大並無法轉換成族群的偉大,而族群的偉大更不可能轉換成個人的偉大。517Please respect copyright.PENANAUkaaZn5bP2
517Please respect copyright.PENANAqk52bg9Owc
這個侏儒們都懂,地精們卻不懂,這又得再提到地精的差不多哲學了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAUf96vcUPTi
517Please respect copyright.PENANAUsPkhWfPhD
你是地精,我也是地精,我們都差不多,所以我就是你。既然你是侯斯島之光,那我也是侯斯島之光,你偉大當然我也偉大。517Please respect copyright.PENANAW4Z5HqUagy
517Please respect copyright.PENANAvgIYRbgPpL
好吧,老實說這跟哥布林最愛用的口號「大家都是哥布林」有異曲同工之妙就是。517Please respect copyright.PENANA5knbajEX11
517Please respect copyright.PENANAsUYhC7nZQN
說真的,很多侯斯島之光也不喜歡地精。尤其是被錯當成地精的侏儒們,通常就是在島上不受其他地精待見才逃到島外發展。現在好不容易成功了,卻又被這些往日瞧不起他們的地精給拿來利用。517Please respect copyright.PENANABg7sXbGvvK
517Please respect copyright.PENANA1M7ohkZiLp
你說,這怎麼能讓人高興得起來呢?517Please respect copyright.PENANAd3qHIGtXFm
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在退個幾步來說,如果「侯斯島之光」真的能讓這座島揚名國際,其實也是好事一樁。517Please respect copyright.PENANAXpntNmVvpG
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很遺憾地,完全沒有這麼一回事。517Please respect copyright.PENANAe5dJOXjNhp
517Please respect copyright.PENANAq6IOb6sJB0
大多數外島人並沒有因為知道這些「侯斯島之光」的事蹟,而願意認真去了解這座島上的生態。517Please respect copyright.PENANA3t26A5iIWK
517Please respect copyright.PENANAelVDvfR1JR
這是理所當然的,就說了個人的偉大不代表族群的偉大了,在精靈們眼裡他們會尊敬一個地精或侏儒絕對不是因為他來自侯斯島。而是因為這個地精或侏儒做的事情值得他們尊敬,所以他們才願意關注對方。517Please respect copyright.PENANA770BlHb474
517Please respect copyright.PENANAHQ7QV4vuY9
嘛…以一個侏儒冷淡的眼光來看,精靈這整個族群從上到下不管是哪個部落的,都是一副屌個二五八萬天上天下唯我獨尊的打不斷鼻子高傲感。517Please respect copyright.PENANA7ECgcuVvWA
517Please respect copyright.PENANAR42rlUiv0Y
有句俗語叫做:「想打斷精靈的鼻子比殺了他們還難」,意思就是想要傷害精靈的自尊心是很困難的。517Please respect copyright.PENANAgDfYwTYYM2
517Please respect copyright.PENANApRYLCY9F0A
這種自我感覺良好出現在少部分慣用右手的精靈身上是很明顯的,也因為這樣,沒自信的地精在精靈面前總是抬不起頭。517Please respect copyright.PENANAljCaNKnIrU
517Please respect copyright.PENANAyWKziFvenC
尤其在島上精靈是很稀有的存在,物以稀為貴的結果,精靈就變得很尊貴了。517Please respect copyright.PENANA8OddcpCKei
517Please respect copyright.PENANAyjbVFjO6wg
其實精靈的文化對亞細亞大陸的影響很強勢,以歌布林為中心擴張的各類亞種更是難以抵擋。這幾年也是有侏儒或者腦袋進化錯方向的地精提出「回歸本土」的主張,希望藉由提倡島上的歷史與文化,來消除精靈文化對島上的影響。517Please respect copyright.PENANAiL3PSDRogy
517Please respect copyright.PENANAUCHPpLg18S
說是這麼說,但那裏還擺著一個「哥布林文化」呢!要「回歸本土」,在某些地精耳中聽起來就像是要「去哥布林化」,這一聽可不能隨便答應了。517Please respect copyright.PENANA5d1kLSxOym
517Please respect copyright.PENANArEJ7HXJMRt
地精的確很不在意他人感受,短視又近利。但它們自認有一個優點,就是不忘本。大多數地精都是從哥布林帝國移植過來的,對它們來說哥布林帝國才是它們的祖國,你現在要「回歸本土」「去哥布林化」,這不是要它們的老命嗎?517Please respect copyright.PENANA3ILo526Kw7
517Please respect copyright.PENANAc62jGgn1EH
所以這個主張很快就被打壓下來了,沒辦法,地精們只好繼續過著被精靈文化侵蝕的苦日子。想要回歸本土,從島上的歷史開始認真探索,估計沒個半世紀等不到了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAuw9uUgpyEC
517Please respect copyright.PENANAPrbdYbJMfw
你總得等老地精們都死光了才推得動不是?517Please respect copyright.PENANArpaJN13VhT
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說得等它們死光可不是玩笑話,地精們的階級觀念是非常死板且不容更動的。517Please respect copyright.PENANA0vvl9wnHsk
517Please respect copyright.PENANAJfI3bmMTLc
越老的地精地位越崇高,不管你有理不有理,只要你夠老,大家就得讓你三分。517Please respect copyright.PENANATt0W6g6XQN
517Please respect copyright.PENANA1g61XgvjcC
這種觀念是普遍存在於地精之中,當然這幾年島上因為不知名因素,各種族的生育率都降很快,所以年輕一代的有這觀念的地精也就稍微少了一點。517Please respect copyright.PENANAIyg3cx426v
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但至少在中壯年這世代的地精,還是很吃這套的。517Please respect copyright.PENANAc7NRIN57tM
517Please respect copyright.PENANANd1evNe6WG
長輩壓晚輩,學長壓學弟,前輩壓後輩,老師壓學生。很多聽起來有問題的爭執,只要把這個階級關係套上去,你就會發現對他們來說這非常合理。517Please respect copyright.PENANAXFYmfK4ZtY
517Please respect copyright.PENANAGxrZdNofHk
因為我老,所以這件事我對。老子吃過的岩蟲比你吃過的江稞還多,你哪來的膽子跟老子爭這個?517Please respect copyright.PENANALt3KSZHKG1
517Please respect copyright.PENANA22A9lrRlIF
侏儒們都很詬病這種上下關係,在它們眼裡當你年紀大了身體機能大不如前,連腦中的智慧都比不上年輕人的時候,你憑甚麼能得到他人的尊敬?517Please respect copyright.PENANA3cCUdgclW9
517Please respect copyright.PENANADgbKhUMjoI
就憑你活得比較久?那這樣下去誰還願意努力奮鬥?要知道年輕時越拼命的人通常越短命,這樣篩選下去,老了還能當榜樣的可是少之又少了。517Please respect copyright.PENANA1mkYGmu9fj
517Please respect copyright.PENANAFZsAC3pKJp
地精們可不這麼看,它們的上下觀念是承自於哥布林帝國的「努學」,這據說是一門非常深奧的學問,象徵著哥布林帝國五千年博大精深的思想結晶。517Please respect copyright.PENANA0XcSFUwVBU
517Please respect copyright.PENANAzBNci2gu1h
(實際上哥布林帝國建國至今也未滿百年,到底是哪來的五千年侏儒們也很納悶。)517Please respect copyright.PENANAZkH4dkwq2T
517Please respect copyright.PENANASFt4tCaqw8
所以對地精來說,這可是真理,一個不尊敬老人的人,除了精靈以外基本上都會被地精瞧不起。517Please respect copyright.PENANAWkpYM9RKtj
517Please respect copyright.PENANAX417jG7pDA
其實對某些看清楚形式的地精來說,這都是為了老後的保障。地精老後的身體機能其實衰敗的很快,如果沒有這樣的機制保護他們,恐怕老了後就會被年輕的地精給拋棄,從此曝屍荒野了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAT6QeCEaY5S
517Please respect copyright.PENANAVQ5EkqdiY0
別懷疑,地精是很勢利的種族,像這種死後還要浪費幾百枚金幣,而且一半以上還要被那些教會的混蛋給賺走,有些地精還真的雙手一攤就不想管了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAGz6PEHqQ97
517Please respect copyright.PENANAgpP0nZ6hOa
但好在地精們一直堅持著「努學」,還有另一門學問「嘯道」,才能讓這些年輕的地精傻傻地相信自己就該尊敬沒有能力的長輩們。517Please respect copyright.PENANAYHm3XP3OKR
517Please respect copyright.PENANAHfJ6VlqIYs
當然等年輕地精長大以後,他們自然會明白自己已經成為既得利益者的候選人,當然更不可能會放棄這兩門學問了。517Please respect copyright.PENANAeryiZtmZH1
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這就是地精們維護自己的社會結構穩定,減少動亂的好方法。517Please respect copyright.PENANAS3dBLn4ERr
517Please respect copyright.PENANAGhnfhQiWSL
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517Please respect copyright.PENANA7bjqML5LWJ
從地精們重老輕少的價值觀,大致可以猜到地精的教育是怎麼一回事。517Please respect copyright.PENANAnvUB9mW9wa
517Please respect copyright.PENANAUR0U2ZMjJZ
簡單來說,地精並沒有把自己的子女當成一個獨立的個體來看。在地精眼哩,年紀越小的人越是廢物,這跟年輕地精的實力無關,只跟它們的年齡有關。517Please respect copyright.PENANAdEFP9DHEuY
517Please respect copyright.PENANAmU01RVxT1n
所以年幼的地精是沒有任何發言權可言的,有一句地精俗語很直觀地描述了這樣的情況:517Please respect copyright.PENANAAf5nnnVP97
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「小地精有耳無嘴。」517Please respect copyright.PENANAYI0lkiVgHF
517Please respect copyright.PENANAkWeax3ATJc
當然這意思不是指年幼的地精真的沒有嘴巴,只是在比喻年紀小的人要多聽少說話,不要隨便頂撞父母。517Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3gJmIy99e
517Please respect copyright.PENANAZteHvwIzFe
諷刺的是,年齡差距更大的精靈教育方式卻完全相反,他們把所有的年幼精靈都當成獨立的個體教育,希望他們能夠盡快脫離父母的照顧。517Please respect copyright.PENANAMIo2JUsU8K
517Please respect copyright.PENANA0JEULme6iS
即使在與子女溝通時也會用對等的地位與對方交流,而非只靠權威與蠻力來壓制對方。517Please respect copyright.PENANAW3o7CPhv1N
517Please respect copyright.PENANAKAg2NIEHhI
(至於因為精靈比較年長所以得到地精過多尊敬這種事就完全是題外話了)517Please respect copyright.PENANAMW8OKlH6b1
517Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0EeSS47Kv
地精教育小孩的方式,最簡單也最多地精會的,就是打。517Please respect copyright.PENANAupsxPFrnFG
517Please respect copyright.PENANAi5O0PbJ4Vj
沒錯,就連地精中小學的老師們都很喜歡這一套,對它們來說小孩是無法溝通的,這些小孩太笨了,除了用野獸的教育方式,沒有任何方法可以教導。517Please respect copyright.PENANAUPc5JDNMgb
517Please respect copyright.PENANAWAY1eZVzTP
過去就有許多地精父母不小心打死小孩的案件,因為太聰明而生育率不高的侏儒們看到這些地精小孩被自己的白痴父母給打死時,很多都感到心痛不捨。517Please respect copyright.PENANA2AtlMz7Sk1
517Please respect copyright.PENANA5hGtQpQzgh
身為地精的小孩是非常不幸的,基本上毫無自由可言。地精父母會以小孩太弱小了不該出門當藉口,嚴格限制年幼地精的外出。517Please respect copyright.PENANAKoM6jfjG6X
517Please respect copyright.PENANApjbHp9loFz
甚至因為覺得自己空出時間心力來照顧子女是非常虧欠自己的事情,而認為小孩都是欠自己的,自己要小孩做甚麼小孩就該做甚麼。517Please respect copyright.PENANAAiY285xPaQ
517Please respect copyright.PENANATzDqEK35jA
在經濟方面,地精父母很少會教導自家小孩怎麼花錢,通常不是定時給幾枚金幣當零用錢就是完全不給。517Please respect copyright.PENANAi7AUtraNr3
517Please respect copyright.PENANAtmXLF1vgJ8
這幾年經濟大發展,有錢的地精父母甚至會每個月給自己小孩幾百枚甚至幾千枚金幣當零用錢,一枚金幣足以讓一個普通的地精審吃儉用過上十天,一個月給幾百枚,只會養成小孩奢侈的消費習慣。517Please respect copyright.PENANAcfqgtkZMjY
517Please respect copyright.PENANA9ucTR8Qf4k
又,因為疏於與孩子溝通。是的,地精眼中最重要的還是錢,小孩只是一個附屬品,證明自己人生過得很幸福的獎狀。517Please respect copyright.PENANAg3oTPFnPaD
517Please respect copyright.PENANA8kNAjj8Nss
實際上多數地精並不懂得如何疼愛自己的小孩,它們從未把自家小孩當作跟自己同樣地個體來交流。517Please respect copyright.PENANAjJKyWvYl9s
517Please respect copyright.PENANA6O76vrTXn5
在這種情況下,教導出來的年幼地精進入青春期大多會變得叛逆不然就變得麻木不仁。前者是將反抗父母當作證明自己是獨立自主個體的行為,後者則是已經完全被剝奪了情感表達。517Please respect copyright.PENANAOkik3ZXAgi
517Please respect copyright.PENANAA7mvWGLWoh
不過有趣的是,等到這些小地精長大後.他們又大多無法脫離自家父母的影子。517Please respect copyright.PENANAGhu5ZjNJVl
517Please respect copyright.PENANAfwZ4caXMnS
只能說基因遺傳是強大的,即使他們再討厭自己的父母,長大後依然無法避免自己變得跟父母一樣,把自己的小孩當作東西來養。517Please respect copyright.PENANA80savwlFEY
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真是有夠悲慘的無限循環啊。517Please respect copyright.PENANAJGdiHWBbex
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517Please respect copyright.PENANAnfPHQuH2Nj
其實在過去醫療不發達,島上各地貧困到難以生存的年代,地精的價值觀真的解決了很多世代衝突帶來的不穩定。517Please respect copyright.PENANARnqucdZRiO
517Please respect copyright.PENANAsvW5JQb9H9
日子越難過,其實最有活力的年輕族群影響力是越強的。如果不推廣「努學」、「嘯道」,老地精的非自然死亡率非常高。517Please respect copyright.PENANAkIX1rRhoux
517Please respect copyright.PENANAaL2IJd7pKa
尤其是戰後地精入島,很多老地精顛沛流離餐風露宿孤苦無依,沒有年輕地精的照顧大概只能客死異鄉。517Please respect copyright.PENANAMNFRzRyG2u
517Please respect copyright.PENANAa0GgZXPGZZ
不過這樣的景況沒有持續多久,在戰後島上的政府接受精靈部落的資助漸漸發展起來,地精們的生活條件也越來越好。517Please respect copyright.PENANApwNjxgwBPo
517Please respect copyright.PENANAlsDVec0Hog
戰後嬰兒潮帶來的人口紅利以及開發中帶來的經濟成長,讓這個戰後世代的地精們得到相當強大的經濟實力。517Please respect copyright.PENANAqTPT0hIMWn
517Please respect copyright.PENANAG8YXp8Ihci
這樣的實力是無法忽視的,再加上「努學」跟「嘯道」的加成,這個世代的地精非常強勢。517Please respect copyright.PENANAOj2GQ6RoCF
517Please respect copyright.PENANAhmQLNn1nDW
他們認為島上的繁榮是自己靠實力帶來的,沒有自己的努力,這座島上的地精現在還在吃草呢!有這樣的認知,這些地精都非常高傲,而且固執。517Please respect copyright.PENANAKgRaZAhTCN
517Please respect copyright.PENANA8m5AVkwF7b
有的地精甚至認為自己已經能與精靈相提並論,沒辦法呢,接觸的精靈多了就會覺得地精跟精靈也差不到哪,那它們當然會覺得自己也能當精靈囉。517Please respect copyright.PENANA8ezOQXwQpU
517Please respect copyright.PENANAN1qJhKT5Xk
近幾年人口紅利衰退,島上的經濟奇蹟不在。但這些戰後世代的地精依然把持住島上諸多資源,享受著優渥的生活。517Please respect copyright.PENANAzHLqjGXj7F
517Please respect copyright.PENANAJ3vo7MHZDK
它們對往日榮光不在感到心痛,左批這世代的年經地精沒出息,右批這世代的年精地精太會花錢。517Please respect copyright.PENANAF1BERel9aG
517Please respect copyright.PENANADRrJCq3kGV
總之,它們認為現在的衰退是年輕地精不爭氣帶來的。而身為老前輩的它們,該拖著年老弱智的身體帶領地精繼續走下去,才不會辜負了他們帶給地精一族的榮耀。517Please respect copyright.PENANAEjB4CQsgRq
517Please respect copyright.PENANAPbTkKykc8h
而那些年輕的地精,自小就被這些強勢的戰後世代地精當成物品看待與教育,其實是很難生起反抗心的。不得不說這就是教育的獲勝,地精的教育真的不能等。517Please respect copyright.PENANAXOMIeQqbfz
517Please respect copyright.PENANALtx6mVPPdM
只有極少數的侏儒不吃這一套,他們早就明白整個經濟的衰退是怎麼一回事。當人口紅利不在,國家發展物價上升,自然競爭力就不在,這有甚麼好推給年輕人的?517Please respect copyright.PENANAzNsrqkwFVO
517Please respect copyright.PENANAegCmpP8nNk
更何況很多戰後世代地精都明白這點,不然何必要把自己的地精工廠轉移到東南亞細亞跟南方諸島?甚至那些人還拼命要求政府開放大量外籍的勞動力,希望減輕自家的負擔呢。517Please respect copyright.PENANAp0NeeUboNS
517Please respect copyright.PENANAuTLMnwrnZa
即使是如此,這些老地精們依然會在年輕人面前這麼說:517Please respect copyright.PENANAu0Z61AdINb
517Please respect copyright.PENANA2p12HDHF8V
「你們都是草莓地精!既軟又嫩!講沒幾句就臉紅不然就要爆炸!哪像我們以前巴拉不拉布阿巴啦…」517Please respect copyright.PENANAwoXnav1otV
517Please respect copyright.PENANAwd57nnm5XL
說完後滿足了自己的虛榮感,這些戰後世代的老地精們轉身就去過著比年輕地精更舒適、更糜爛、更沒有出息且完全沒有自覺的生活了。517Please respect copyright.PENANA3auVwCNSJ9
517Please respect copyright.PENANACTLRR7wpc6
沒辦法,誰叫它們運氣好,出生在這個輝煌的年代呢?這樣的生活才是他們應得的啊!517Please respect copyright.PENANAMAHjNjMeyQ
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短篇故事集
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ISSUE #5
我們做的東西才不會爆炸!
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