第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDhnSzyQ9l
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDbeIrmdgA
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還沒有學會「接受」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Pzo7dqAYK
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接受現實539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZHLGVnoEC
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因為認為是屈服539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNSmAaOcH5
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感覺好像自己在投降539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEODfWahOe
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放棄一切539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxGXAoRMQc
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsdiJlp0TB
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7X6TixgCW6
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認為是這樣子的狂妄539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjqNCXWc8z
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無他539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MC85jkkFD
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說是愚痴也不過份539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgt1BbX2jr
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只是她不相信539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Csz5lw2m7
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懷疑539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCk0mJM76T
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她⋯⋯539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSz5DrGqiOJ
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「⋯⋯」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLVTW5JGbb
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIArQbOqyjr
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單單是想像也有夠不安539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSeNhA6XiO
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMKejpBWS4
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yw4KOk9if
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唯一句539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0vK3LjrdR
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當局者迷，旁觀者清539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSYSAGeX9Z
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIWkd3RTde
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4NmAArs5N
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZt8rdOZAA2
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且不死，無法殺死539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTuQjkUGfm
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人家已經很盡力了539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YEYpmrUhs
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3XmTpAVlj
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憤怒539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvYYljJF7S
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzSJki2ttj
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因為我沒有用539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgS3UrqTN7B
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbZLCGHtjX
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkGLIzbqgP
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ542KVyuTHL
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HbXXA6KjO
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLCEMfWQDv
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzTlDxzMSC
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MqVjDt0Uq
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XeGLVpN5X
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAwDIaI99Q
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJgQUXmk1U
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wwSWA6iSH
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfueR19jmP
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已經失眠了多久？539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡik4cRu6fE8
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8Zoa7W4JA
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHdJmuQBD2
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9suR4ZVkph
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrjG9YGwMH
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmHyHFxEdG
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmBRO7RVEd
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOfpdrFsww
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtZSR21fmO
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrdbL0mf33
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ399W4TMA5L
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFri3Oatre
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——呀？
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嗯？539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3fUuAAciD
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbniJ7Vv3GM
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0X2pO3B2I
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjjuDMXk1o
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAo3TiMFFuG
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOfKltQbKs
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYwfGNUo2o
我也想活下去
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9k012jvSG
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKF4uny7de9
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡag9p6RknIH
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBibscSpXt
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gXDCyD1Y5
或是說，我不希望⋯539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnbBdovq9E
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⋯⋯539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcwtKu66QJ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNh2Trk0HtM
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對不起539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSXWxmnXNG
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeACv9xa1J1
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MrVturIf2
我也希望自己⋯539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqfRTYT1OV
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpMZQixCMj
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKl42a41bR8
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8845ZwO3t
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtj79exHRG
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0AUYL9w8n
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvdy93YmrC
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MDXPlZplK
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCn1yJNY9q
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wSjZ5iicJ
「⋯⋯嗯」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7ZvzcpcDu
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WClQcmbiO
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHrAyTyZGm
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnZkEgyQ7A
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡER4Dnj30U7
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5GRyBoHZZ
「⋯⋯」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsbv61sqCt
「真的」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXZD0l5kC9
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrE5Mp2Lmjm
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRst4qeIh7
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
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「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADaLSdzieQ
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4GYpC4OsT
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dyGZPAX35
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TNX1YffAy
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu9Pr1VsVx
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrYKbDqvo5
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfy5pBxNCRo
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2M0j7gefG
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVZbRVuxay
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtBxVJzfZC
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBXG5BndwX
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GI5P2zLe6
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiFOz30ivc
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOXdNmFvP8
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FuYzwUOsD
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq77lcSES6l
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4vAl7Sh2K
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtTOvEaaTT
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YutEdOLGS
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡem5jkTNPzF
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Zs3BrUTUF
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYi5W4hgfj
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitIVqOS5xj
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05pBg9MAPy
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOTp3SA2r9
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEO7SBWAYZo
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0D4IMuxYdY
最後一記，最強烈
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0myRC4Oac
「⋯哈啊⋯」
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2D3aN1vwM
鬆口，直至其手到胸口539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRos0uPWc0M
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgsnIk95Xq
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOQgVtjF37
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBDs0UxR5Y
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tzCftIO0d
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDL2bjNxSku
「⋯啊？」
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMtDrfOHco
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTOWNkFNcR
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQ2qQLRkXi
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
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「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
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「等、等等」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOn6aXCWFiS
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVqhncdyI1
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7JXM6NHOK
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XCxyXG4Pi
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zHk9WDox5
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4mRocjSOM
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKobjMctLB
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0DzhnLjm0
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrp0Ab4up9
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUSvWEAdyv
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlZKWLf7aT
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdEJDnwC0N
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXs4RI3WMa
好痛
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但會有人在意嗎？
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgj8KJF2t0u
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQrU7vWnhp
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8O7hWJGvu
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMihjqhWUsu
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoqX7J8UY5
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsXYftU4tM
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHzhuLzv8x
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbcT3T2Qms
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWUfqqW175
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoiD0ANeEy
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxRw4nKSMj
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomQTNjaYno
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyhPJjzqLz
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUmgoIrRKk
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQUIkA7uCv
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzl1diMaSb
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBp2TGpzFzE
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9uuR5CkMf
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSfe4zOGu4
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCEaxXPBQY
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqtGGwt9yl
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81IzevUuu2
比較下，條件不由自己定
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfaBg2Kn9J
我沒有選擇權539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHd0HJKpIv
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpuLcBemvV
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmGJYYdfB3
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsp50bmqHco
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGYKXvFWvf
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsZsT0IhMV
明白嗎？539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33sNICjeJc
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61UHlOEdVq
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fyv6eZvBP
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgNzjteRGQ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75RHHO3mhr
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyy5DKronQ
若世界更溫柔的話——
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不可能539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPN1wSHPtp
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLSLTjCu9R
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7YJ2cVRmt
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什麼也沒有539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fiWvJv4BC
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUsxDt1EYW
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在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDRc4O2gqB
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5M5ojOoLeB
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeT0glK5qxz
當然539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJMCzEZ8Dq
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絕對
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSGYUWDfCA
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9phKrMbXl
不想539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcUOxGiiEP
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFAqbONC9k
但始終，真的太辛苦了539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4epikeC1vA
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1T2czdLWa
⋯⋯539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPPmnhJS6O
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0rlgIn3ky
思考真的太辛苦了539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1E78ulzkmH
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnNrgzBKoh
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGVyZhvbeP
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTZj6nIv6P
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLjw9ZlVPz
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzS44ASBqj
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFuGdIks92
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADF17Vlw5n
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3upDGWJR5
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBeuYHVyKT
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdmKCfLOEn
「⋯⋯對不起」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VTNmhZTGO
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnQar4TKhW
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRab7tdOs9Z
「嗯⋯」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9HOXzDj0i
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcR8ljEBqTv
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkOUf89rS9
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlQXnlpW8b
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMAnWR59le
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJeJ5aV2Xa
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxPMNZn3nb
「忠誠致赤雨之日」539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh68wG5U3sR
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUQuzxd7qD
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7GNq5Hovh
女孩說道
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgiZ99vd00
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT4CHgAHyq
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1IABrOUP9
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mWVCxUl8z
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimeinIvTuJ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1djsLCYiU
是女孩的指示539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyg5lqo80R
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqfRc69Yyo
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtWNxESqJx
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ct0AsMnbO
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7VIf7TIBU
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibCFdOeX9G
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujGdfqqKXN
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTwggvdSjm
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlz9bOGXtNy
直至最後能看見的——539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwfe8YaZ9j
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqAdrybVz2
也不存在
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnEhZtpsGj
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvocJQWAIFL
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UCS8IUGdF
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZlhi6sIio
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtEVrZNpCL
但無法辨認539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAx30NwOJZ2
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNu3VZ3KKpd
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazYAmsnT0J
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPENrm0TaH9
黑暗將自己包圍539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtr606bxwr
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9iweRXaRA
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqo6w9Z6BwH
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jx9jLOB0k
不知多久了539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHGzUCR82k
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAP1KbaJs7F
在那時開始539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNrK1eK7uB
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSIoISZjNb
那裏539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3qS1XBRt9
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHO2yJlXYd
但有些事情〇〇
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTY2GIsTMu
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8azwe6Z6Z
〇〇〇539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMIA5S6rEm
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUhlN6xjSf
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5GUuOwEHk
〇〇〇〇〇〇539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFpsmcmKQ9
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDXsUxF4yd
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQAz9L9668
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2tq32WGVZ
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5l6uBUiTgV
現在不是你的回合539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DRmwmjEfL
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkH388Wk2k9
539Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTXHEA1pG6
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