雜念集 - 現實中的理想（職場 / 日常）

家宜拿著一紙文憑畢業。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08rfpluX4y
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和很多其他年輕人一樣，她是有夢想的，並一直堅持著。她一直在心中盤算著，要找一份怎麼怎麼的工作，要怎麼怎麼實現她大計……但眼見一封封求職信杳無音訊，石沉大海時，她開始著急。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2rBYQTg6j
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日復日，她心想：「機會在哪兒？」929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCpL2dqQt1
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBR6kpfQmy3
終於，有回音了。縱使只有一個面試機會，她仍興奮得很。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0jYTjqJu2
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfffH6tqUXm
面試當日，她穿著整齊，拿著沉甸甸的公事包，於烈日下到一幢舊式工廠大廈去。到達門口時，大汗淋漓的她，被玻璃門後的公司吸引著——是她夢寐以求的室內設計公司！還記得修讀室內設計文憑時，她常幻想著自己會受聘於一間大型室內設計公司，每天都從忙碌中獲得滿足感…929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs67a3rUDfh
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面試後數日，有回音了。「八千五？」她在心裡嚷著：「當日不是說月薪一萬嗎？」929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNFvtPf7eT
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZDf9rv8nH
「你是零經驗的畢業生…」電話另一頭的男聲解釋說。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tepu5yYLQ
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrb7jFxepX9
「好。」家宜吁了一口氣，把心裡的標準降低了少許。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWt1sy5obIO
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjUmiNrzjk
「那麼，明天上班。」男聲的口吻近乎發號司令。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJvEagg1oh
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掛線後，家宜把消息告知媽。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4LlwF7EIu
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjqPxzbAAx
「八千五…」媽想了想：「差不多…」929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVJccf24Dz
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPwLNuKcFo
家宜沉默了。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WMypzGNTt
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVE0r7sg0Li
媽瞥了瞥她，續道：「『零經驗』、『Fresh Grad.』…八千五，已算是不錯！」929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRN6lCDMVV
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這一句話，又把家宜的標準拉低了。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcadhrJSNR
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原來，她自己只值八千五！

一年後，進步不少的家宜被擢升，成為初級設計師。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5mqhjOdqt
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EvF1NoMAJ
自此，仍然年輕的家宜，決定不會再穿著花花綠綠，只會穿黑白灰。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeL6EAVTFu
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjEev9fibG
有人說她成熟了，進步了。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7acyAtoRuv
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡky5lAOAVuN
「我可不這樣認為。」家宜很想要這麼答，但卻總把說話生吞回肚子作罷。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhIF7MNdyc
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似乎，大家都只看到她「正」的一面而已。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡui3EOWmfwf
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMH93ZO0JzM
這就是大家想要看見的家宜嗎？一個只會穿黑白灰、不苟言笑的女人。大家似乎忘記了——家宜只有二十歲，是屬於青春的年華。真正的她，可是一個愛笑愛玩的小女生；但這只會令她被標籤為「不思進取」、「幼稚」、「被寵壞」的新生代。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxVkpbZZqb
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還是向現實低頭好了。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoRciEn9Iq
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTilLhAIOg
家宜又再穿上套裝，遮掩仍然年輕的身體；化濃妝、塗豔抹，好讓笑容沉重得消失了似的。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jCS3r09Wa
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKk8pOH5tB
這就是，大家想要看見的家宜吧！

「我回來了。」家宜脫下高跟鞋，一屁股坐在沙發上。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFkZlX3Q7p
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XJWgwSHzj
「發薪了嗎？」媽聞聲而至。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxSiRmwI29
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQGU0qjIWz
「發了。」家宜從手提包拿出支票和糧單。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3W2Wd5R7u
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnw1p34PKBd
媽看了看，聲線幾近尖叫：「你不是已經升職了嗎？」929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXAchx0217
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家宜沒答話。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxbppBLumJ
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望著家宜，媽氣得火燒心。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUao9stbo3n
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUTNDOUsoK
當初，是家宜承諾會賺到更多的錢。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqdth3bvC8
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0bZswS02P
當初，是她講理想，擅自推掉一份待遇優厚的工作。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPnz3Lb6AD
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5ton09utf
當初，她根本不應為興趣而揀選室內設計。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvnbkK3nFs
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx32YPtW9na
當初…929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PSn7aVCCC
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sWd0oTs2m
整個晚上，媽一言不發。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkYCFUdsOP
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAELkzaENCE
家宜很難受，但卻選擇不多話。是的，她很後悔——為何她當初那麼有理想？原來，理想真的不可當飽飯吃！929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGhKlddOpC
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbH9Dv6zIBg
但現在，何如？

這是家宜首次到酒吧來。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡae0zmhy1oA
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI35TC4HIrX
形形色色的男女，都不約而同地帶著一對黑眼圈；家宜也不例外——她昨晚失眠了。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMURaSaw0z
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJzSLsqsvw
從未試過被人當中那麼奚落，還要她道歉。但更難以置信的是——她道歉了。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ljD21rt8f
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjRAsTeJtU
根本不是她的錯！929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSlM9tbKE5
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdT5FUo171N
但道歉可保住一椿生意…929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iI3JBA36c
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卻扭曲了自己…929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nBjIqoGCE
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值得嗎？929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNmllE1wzT
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZ1Vv2eO1p
「你是家宜嗎？」有人從後拍了拍家宜的肩膊。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiksoVl2qFd
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJhBb6Fbvr
「學姐？」家宜不自覺的伸出手來，公式化地打招呼。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzAyXW0JtY
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdk8RogyRTY
「近來好嗎？」學姐也成熟了不少：「還在那室內設計公司工作嗎？」929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzk8mBJewql
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINw5T2RlhQ
「是的。」家宜雖然盡力隱藏，但仍掩不住眼裡的失意。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJupmTsn9hZ
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqjWM9D3mw
「我最近自己設立了一所室內設計公司…」學姐有意無意的說：「需要聘請設計師…」929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPgwGCVf18
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVp9lHzhshU
「設計師…」家宜頓時精神起來。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpN93115qT
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFOO5QbtPR
「雖是自主度高，但薪金卻…」學姐小心翼翼的試探著：「你會來幫忙嗎？」

草擬了一整晚的辭職信，就在手心。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpX7btI6Tf
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUx3HAwoF3
只要家宜有勇氣遞上，再加幾個模稜兩可的原因，理想便能確切的握在手心。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0Doo5jj1c
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLupiV9qH3p
「理想不能當飽飯吃！」這句話突然在家宜耳邊響起。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CRjjMNkjS
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQz9pMeZs9
曾講過這句話的人，有媽、朋友、同事、上司…甚至家宜自己。還記得，講這句話時，家宜自己的心情是絕望的。但大家的表情卻很輕鬆，活像只是講及一些與自己不相干的事。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6u2GfAdDK
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ntMFo9CNz
理想，不相干嗎？很遙遠嗎？929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANxOeg6F3B
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhVfG3Z8RN
難道大家年輕時沒有理想嗎？929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqO87qjv4AE
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Vj0PPcYrK
還是大家根本知道現實裡沒有理想，乾脆直接放棄了？929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBrIKMslop
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBexiZvE22v
不管了，先遞信吧！929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCELYgEVX2
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNp6Xm4hZnU
「你…」老闆氣定神閒：「很缺錢吧！」929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAhPiEf2vD
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUh0PzY6AKO
家宜呆了。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXNwaHKyjP
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69tZDGfRNk
「加薪能留住你嗎？」他豎起兩隻手指，示意加薪兩千元。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnPWN0G6lP
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUgGevlbQw
她沒即時否定——猶豫了。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SqqqKNwCb
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iJQgkZXxB
「既然沒問題，你先去工作吧！」他以微笑作結。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCwADKb723
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrDGJQBxJF
這是…放棄了嗎？929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFhw7LCsaM
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahy072fLKR
家宜只知道自己剛才的確心動了，再沒追求理想的資格…

天，灰灰的。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg07FNFrMQO
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHxSyxwjYt
家宜傻傻的抬起頭來，心想：「我到底在做甚麼？」她的手在顫抖著，弄皺了手心的辭職信。從來不相信「為五斗米折腰」；但今天終於領略到。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4G2XC6aUEA
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家宜垂頭喪氣地來到家門前，勉力地堆起笑容，按下門鈴。應門的是媽。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JLZ4PDHAC
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBzJ3gFDkh
昨晚，為了工作上的去留問題，她和媽吵起來了。當時大家都氣得面紅耳赤，卻未能分出勝負。家宜最記得媽那一句：「生活艱難！」929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjWk4tlrTo
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkPSjfMUcG
當時聽畢，家宜禁不住吐了句：「錢不是萬能的！」但二十四小時後，她願意收回那一句話。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMnFQsrxFe
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXicCSAyQGs
「真的辭職了嗎？」媽的語氣，冷淡得令人難受。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl03cYPAbPM
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjF3fmLaKkF
「沒。」家宜感覺到自己的眼淚快要奪眶而出。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijDgcuO3tY
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjK92ImsJP
「真的？」媽的表情很複雜，既喜且悲。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1R10IPtcH
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7emVpC2dSS
是的，她很高興家宜沒有辭工；但她實在太熟悉家宜的脾性了——幾近頑固的堅持自己的想法。要是她的想法改變了，原因有二：想通了或是徹底被「擊潰」了。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVRjBLGo1L
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媽選擇相信後者：「有話要講嗎？」929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xzWlUbLwE
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3WpLi7Vmm5
「沒。」家宜搖搖頭。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UL2gyce6o
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebvMJ8tjDZ
回到房間，家宜躺在床上，呆望著天花板。929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnWiyd1Cye
929Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aKJ08MBPC
欲哭無淚。

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