雜念集 - 現實中的理想（職場 / 日常）

家宜拿著一紙文憑畢業。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFG9bSf9DKU
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和很多其他年輕人一樣，她是有夢想的，並一直堅持著。她一直在心中盤算著，要找一份怎麼怎麼的工作，要怎麼怎麼實現她大計……但眼見一封封求職信杳無音訊，石沉大海時，她開始著急。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6FosL9Pv6
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWN8wXhEQ9i
日復日，她心想：「機會在哪兒？」931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCg1Ay3owj
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3s5lRfo1f
終於，有回音了。縱使只有一個面試機會，她仍興奮得很。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhRBXAWlkc
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQXk5C2RWa
面試當日，她穿著整齊，拿著沉甸甸的公事包，於烈日下到一幢舊式工廠大廈去。到達門口時，大汗淋漓的她，被玻璃門後的公司吸引著——是她夢寐以求的室內設計公司！還記得修讀室內設計文憑時，她常幻想著自己會受聘於一間大型室內設計公司，每天都從忙碌中獲得滿足感…931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjoj77VDi0
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面試後數日，有回音了。「八千五？」她在心裡嚷著：「當日不是說月薪一萬嗎？」931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNvwIORYG2
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsd6hAE1BBZ
「你是零經驗的畢業生…」電話另一頭的男聲解釋說。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRwOgAO7gJ
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYzGyCyVSC
「好。」家宜吁了一口氣，把心裡的標準降低了少許。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMlV48hgu2
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRuJCAaxCL
「那麼，明天上班。」男聲的口吻近乎發號司令。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwfq99k3UD
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QKfxZwBqa
掛線後，家宜把消息告知媽。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzKQpazVqi
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1gFnZ7zCI
「八千五…」媽想了想：「差不多…」931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eCc2V9YCM
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VmrO3csLb
家宜沉默了。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQ9ikkoNva
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTiU8f2YFq
媽瞥了瞥她，續道：「『零經驗』、『Fresh Grad.』…八千五，已算是不錯！」931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37pmYcR1Bk
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXk5wOs45v8
這一句話，又把家宜的標準拉低了。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZ1VrTOWER
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFN98IVndpm
原來，她自己只值八千五！

一年後，進步不少的家宜被擢升，成為初級設計師。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Tauv6Mh8b
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpvpauGvZw
自此，仍然年輕的家宜，決定不會再穿著花花綠綠，只會穿黑白灰。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcLOmwbzsW
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjE9aIIYs9
有人說她成熟了，進步了。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7m1S7JDk0
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiCrVdhIQe
「我可不這樣認為。」家宜很想要這麼答，但卻總把說話生吞回肚子作罷。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxQCbxDGHK
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RYrHlCuv1
似乎，大家都只看到她「正」的一面而已。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7MHhnpFY4
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBQUvCj1LC
這就是大家想要看見的家宜嗎？一個只會穿黑白灰、不苟言笑的女人。大家似乎忘記了——家宜只有二十歲，是屬於青春的年華。真正的她，可是一個愛笑愛玩的小女生；但這只會令她被標籤為「不思進取」、「幼稚」、「被寵壞」的新生代。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEccE8J6HaF
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還是向現實低頭好了。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCalTjYj4Oq
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwqSL3fSo1
家宜又再穿上套裝，遮掩仍然年輕的身體；化濃妝、塗豔抹，好讓笑容沉重得消失了似的。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1G49HBOPq
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBZhTgnbTJ
這就是，大家想要看見的家宜吧！

「我回來了。」家宜脫下高跟鞋，一屁股坐在沙發上。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cwWeJVUrd
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuEsA59Pve
「發薪了嗎？」媽聞聲而至。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAQI0ZIiPM
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWyIbTmWCl
「發了。」家宜從手提包拿出支票和糧單。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO00Det6N1
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKKeAVLdeX
媽看了看，聲線幾近尖叫：「你不是已經升職了嗎？」931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHbowLnJVO
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUYnGdIQl7
家宜沒答話。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZhZlCQncI
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqIjSdZGqr
望著家宜，媽氣得火燒心。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvhTlzF5yi
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwiYsDzfjC
當初，是家宜承諾會賺到更多的錢。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5a1XWUBFZn
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0Awt7aXZO
當初，是她講理想，擅自推掉一份待遇優厚的工作。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPXoIWGw2h
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCG3YSKTal
當初，她根本不應為興趣而揀選室內設計。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bPo4RXqk1
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5ZrhduwdX
當初…931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnKmA1iEIZ
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNvd5DD3LU
整個晚上，媽一言不發。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAKZABypH5
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZ0pvMWHMc
家宜很難受，但卻選擇不多話。是的，她很後悔——為何她當初那麼有理想？原來，理想真的不可當飽飯吃！931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TH3cuYLqB
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hsqNDtwTC
但現在，何如？

這是家宜首次到酒吧來。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlChw9xmyDV
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZw1N6n0ir
形形色色的男女，都不約而同地帶著一對黑眼圈；家宜也不例外——她昨晚失眠了。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc9gYawPdu
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEnHTqshgW
從未試過被人當中那麼奚落，還要她道歉。但更難以置信的是——她道歉了。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHN6CuHMts
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQseQieUbX
根本不是她的錯！931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYH9B5BMot
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhxxS2k6Gi
但道歉可保住一椿生意…931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfh8ZOk9uAt
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卻扭曲了自己…931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCYyEPt9az
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值得嗎？931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWevz8Vs3N5
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMX3neeO7ag
「你是家宜嗎？」有人從後拍了拍家宜的肩膊。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFX87GXRgb
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBIgxZKO6t
「學姐？」家宜不自覺的伸出手來，公式化地打招呼。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggriPzxKfc
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vMdWAkmXM
「近來好嗎？」學姐也成熟了不少：「還在那室內設計公司工作嗎？」931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7Ccjf2VdN
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg23BgCBk7V
「是的。」家宜雖然盡力隱藏，但仍掩不住眼裡的失意。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrG1U6AaDFD
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSeVLvpo1C
「我最近自己設立了一所室內設計公司…」學姐有意無意的說：「需要聘請設計師…」931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9qF0tzpL0
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRqcj6IKbb
「設計師…」家宜頓時精神起來。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsmd9UVZur
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlupcIzgtyJ
「雖是自主度高，但薪金卻…」學姐小心翼翼的試探著：「你會來幫忙嗎？」

草擬了一整晚的辭職信，就在手心。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDwEC15tOM
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX28WX8OGif
只要家宜有勇氣遞上，再加幾個模稜兩可的原因，理想便能確切的握在手心。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcjkb0dWTA
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wh6NkvtyS
「理想不能當飽飯吃！」這句話突然在家宜耳邊響起。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCkYlmAN9d
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeStssCYQMd
曾講過這句話的人，有媽、朋友、同事、上司…甚至家宜自己。還記得，講這句話時，家宜自己的心情是絕望的。但大家的表情卻很輕鬆，活像只是講及一些與自己不相干的事。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGol6nAKWav
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHJYP9rHr3
理想，不相干嗎？很遙遠嗎？931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPCkOSesj3
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyRjgOP5Vi
難道大家年輕時沒有理想嗎？931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rfEuSC9Ou
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSICSS0OGp
還是大家根本知道現實裡沒有理想，乾脆直接放棄了？931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHqiQtt6GE
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWcgAITLE1
不管了，先遞信吧！931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MPxxY2Fx3
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJbkaeCCkT
「你…」老闆氣定神閒：「很缺錢吧！」931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3kkcIDFpl
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvo5ZspzQv
家宜呆了。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdHPEKv6rC
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBypgEcBoF
「加薪能留住你嗎？」他豎起兩隻手指，示意加薪兩千元。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxWTtTp329
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8E056Ri8r
她沒即時否定——猶豫了。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBDdNffRsk
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUEklAsjF3
「既然沒問題，你先去工作吧！」他以微笑作結。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PmALdhyRR
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLChOICC1F
這是…放棄了嗎？931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaxIJn9MEb
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkTnaP0JUP
家宜只知道自己剛才的確心動了，再沒追求理想的資格…

天，灰灰的。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhE9eRN7tNI
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RSu7nTrbM
家宜傻傻的抬起頭來，心想：「我到底在做甚麼？」她的手在顫抖著，弄皺了手心的辭職信。從來不相信「為五斗米折腰」；但今天終於領略到。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJuQAwRhmq
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7fBr0x2J9
家宜垂頭喪氣地來到家門前，勉力地堆起笑容，按下門鈴。應門的是媽。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheYPx0EGsV
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL10n0hh84Q
昨晚，為了工作上的去留問題，她和媽吵起來了。當時大家都氣得面紅耳赤，卻未能分出勝負。家宜最記得媽那一句：「生活艱難！」931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZbtxL8CFb
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbdndla4vDq
當時聽畢，家宜禁不住吐了句：「錢不是萬能的！」但二十四小時後，她願意收回那一句話。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnr3TC6BBM
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3ug2euC52
「真的辭職了嗎？」媽的語氣，冷淡得令人難受。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv595z6FMp7
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvYionaING
「沒。」家宜感覺到自己的眼淚快要奪眶而出。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyyefYGTrz
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctlvJ5GxJ9
「真的？」媽的表情很複雜，既喜且悲。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLwo9TAsjL
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpX9Oalz5Qu
是的，她很高興家宜沒有辭工；但她實在太熟悉家宜的脾性了——幾近頑固的堅持自己的想法。要是她的想法改變了，原因有二：想通了或是徹底被「擊潰」了。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ntBP1vkF4
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevGBQTJCvf
媽選擇相信後者：「有話要講嗎？」931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIX8uvSH2p
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXJ4SD7gBy
「沒。」家宜搖搖頭。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaeEcU5sQV
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ttkbIHHmq
回到房間，家宜躺在床上，呆望著天花板。931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsDlBmGqsi
931Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfYg12CTAc
欲哭無淚。

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