My friend Vlad and I were at Doe's Best Ice Cream, and Vlad was talking about self defense. Or fighting. I wasn't really sure. And as always, I was pretending to listen as I pay attention to the door, getting ready to zoom out, I finally get to stop listening. People (specifically girls) would ask, "Phineas, why don't you just tell your friend that he talks too much?" Well, it's way more complicated. Maybe you're a girl, or you have a different definition of "Boy Code", you wouldn't understand.
Vlad and I have been best buddies since nursery. Boys on youtube would always say: "You're not a true bro if you don't follow Boy Code." So, Vlad and I created our own boy code. And one of the rules we made was: "Never. EVER tell your brothers that they are giving too much information." In fact, it's number three!
Anyway, if you're not going through this, just skip to the next paragraph. So, in school, everyone just seemed to change over the summer. I know it's already January, but I still feel like talking about this to people who will understand. Everyone just cares about being cool now in fifth grade, and i'm not hating on them just because i'm not a part of that group, but people will jump off of Mount Everest just to be popular, even though we're all the same! Some of the boys in my class are starting to just smear fake dirt on their faces just to look "rugged" for the ladies. And Vlad-well, Vlad, he's now best friends with Ricardo Bell, the most-known boy in the grade. In fourth grade, he stood on top of the lunch table and yelled, "Hey, everyone! Finn's as weak as night!" and he couldn't even insult me properly! I feel like everyone walked into the next room and left me behind.
Just then, I saw a girl with short, ash brown hair. I think she was about our age, but I couldn't really tell by the amount of makeup she had on. There was another girl with auburn hair, a yellow beret, and overalls. She wasn't a Sephora kid. She looked about our age.
"...Anyways, try it on that Sephora girl who just walked in!"
"Huh?"
I was trying to put everything together. So, Vlad was talking about self-defense. And he also said to use your resources to defend yourself...
Without thinking, I grabbed my frozen yogurt and dumped it on her head. The girl looked like she was going to throw a tantrum.
"OMG!" The other girl with the yellow beret exclaimed. "I'll go get some napkins!"
***
"Welp," Vlad said as we walked out. "I said to tell her a new pick up line, not to give her a literal brain freeze."
"A pick-up line?" I asked. "But we always said those were the 'ultimate cringey' thing to do in third grade."
"Well, that's because we didn't need girls in third grade." Vlad answered. "But they say girls who get pulled easily are the best girls."
I was going to tell Vlad, "No girl gets pulled using pick up lines," but I shook my head, thinking that it was too rude.
"I'm sorry," I chose to say instead. "For getting us banned for a week."
"No worries!" Vlad forgave. "That was really funny! Plus, the number one rule of Man Code: Always forgive!"
"Ye-wait! Man Code?" I asked. "It's Boy code!"
"Finn, we are almost in middle school." Vlad responded. "So we're almost men."
"Right..."
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