" I Don’t Think Anyone Would Notice If I Stopped Showing Up" - #2 — Even When I’m in the Room, It Feels Like I’m Not

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Lena sat beside me in class today.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xQ5GJ88aw
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She leaned over and asked, “You okay?”

I said, “Yeah, just tired.”43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5OWlHOS2X
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She smiled like that was enough.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwZjbG5YKm
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I smiled back — the kind you practice in mirrors so nobody asks twice.

It worked. It always does.

Later, Eli dropped something in the group chat. A plan. Movies, drinks, the usual Saturday noise.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjINZauppcd
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Everyone reacted. I gave it a thumbs up, muted the chat, and closed the app like it burned to hold it.

I don’t hate people. I just hate feeling like I don’t exist around them.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXQkn3gOmg
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Even when I’m there, fully present, it still feels like I’m watching my life from behind glass.

I listen to people laugh and wonder what it feels like to actually mean it.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmERmwvG3Z7
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I speak when I have to. I show up when it matters.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmfydRN6yx
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But everything I say feels like I’m lip-syncing someone else’s life.

It’s not that I want anyone to chase me.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH29IrQWUNf
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I just want someone to notice that I’m drifting.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwe7hrm2FI
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Someone to stop smiling and actually look me in the eyes and say,

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“Something’s wrong. Don’t lie to me.”43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw80ROpus7D

But no one ever does.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUGgkwxD4J
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They believe the smile. They always believe the smile.

And I don’t blame them.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZJYlWz629
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I’ve made it easy.

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I left my journal open on purpose this time.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PYAbwnxXH
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Page bookmarked.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IOGI4bVtU
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Highlighting one line I hoped someone would read:

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“If you’re reading this, I don’t want to disappear quietly.”43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfMQO9ckcv

I didn’t lock my room when I left.43Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPnTKBrTcz
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I just want to see who actually comes looking.

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Thank you for reading. If this felt real to you, follow for the issue 3— I’m just getting start

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Issue 3 drops in [like “2 days”]

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