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February 13, 2030 | 9:00 am10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTeciVv0tb
As I was carefully measuring out ingredients and mixing them together, the warm scent of vanilla filling the kitchen, my phone suddenly buzzed on the counter. The sound broke the rhythmic motion of my hands, and I paused for a moment, a spatula in hand, glancing over at the screen. The buzzing continued, a reminder of the outside world, pulling my attention away from the comforting routine of baking. 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7z9n0iWHpX
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KD | 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FTc5VpfnN
Beh10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaofIne8Hz
Are you busy? 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZaL8VJZcb
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I reached over, wiping my hands on the apron, and picked up my phone. The screen lit up with a notification, and without hesitation, I tapped the message. My fingers quickly danced across the screen, typing out a reply as the batter swirled in the bowl, waiting for my attention to return. The hum of the mixer in the background seemed to sync with the rhythm of my quick response.
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Me |10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tr2ZO1Wac
Why?10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9v2a6hGTE
KD | 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQq2SGzVod
We're having a picnic later at Rizal Park, 4pm and we'd like you to join us. You're free right? Just say yes, don't be shy hehe. 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEh5X7GUQeq
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I laughed at what he said, and I couldn’t help but think—he really hasn’t changed at all. As I was finishing typing my reply, I glanced around the kitchen. The floor was a bit messy, with flour and sugar scattered around, along with some used, wet utensils. I was still in the middle of preparing the ingredients, and I paused for a moment to think about whether I should go or not.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9vbGVNNm6
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Me |10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtZlrCIvpQ
Okay, I'll be there. 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugFXAs1TGD
KD |10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGawC1ubmy
Okay, bring some food. 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxSKc5j1gb
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***
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4:00 pm
I scanned the area carefully, the box of cupcakes held firmly in my hand. As my eyes swept over the scene, I finally spotted them. Taking a deep breath, I gathered my thoughts before beginning to walk toward them. They looked so content together. Vince was kneeling on the grass, spreading out the picnic blanket with a focused yet relaxed expression. Jyrus and Justine, each with their arms full of picnic supplies, were busy chatting and arranging their things. Meanwhile, Karl and Kaiden seemed to be lost in their own little world, wrapped up in a bubble of affection, sharing soft smiles and quiet moments between them. It was the kind of scene that made you smile just by watching.
I stopped firmly and watched them from afar. It feels like it was only yesterday when this was exactly what I had wanted—back when I found out Vince and Justine wanted to get to know me. Jyrus had mentioned it to me way back, and I was the one who suggested that we should all have a picnic together—right here. In this very place. And now, here I am. With them.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHQuuPxDII
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Early December 2024 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhwm7URwkHu
I’ve been smiling non-stop while talking to Jy. He’s been making me smile an awful lot these past few days. From the moment I arrived back in the Philippines until I returned here in Canada, he’s been so consistent—talking to me every single day. Let’s just say he’s one of the reasons I wake up feeling genuinely happy each morning.
I never imagined us to be like this, honestly. We’ve been friends for a long time—I met him when I was 15, turning 16, and he was 17, turning 18. And over the years, he’s become one of the most important people in my life.
I’ve been friends with guys before, even gotten close to some of them—but somehow, Jyrus is different. Maybe it’s because I feel so completely at ease with him? Around him, I can be myself. I can show him sides of me that most of my friends have never even seen10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWTYIl0XTj
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From then on, every plan we made—everything we said we’d do once we finally saw each other—kept me excited and happy. Even though I have no idea what the future holds, whatever Jyrus has planned… it keeps me alive.
No one’s ever made me feel that way before.
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A bittersweet smile formed on my lips as that memory crossed my mind. I may not know who among them planned today’s picnic and thought of inviting me—but whoever it was, I’m genuinely grateful. I never really expected this day to happen, and it caught me off guard, but still, I’m happy.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMVhgQY1t5
Because today, I got to cross off one thing from the list of plans Jyrus and I once made. And even if the picnic didn’t turn out exactly how I imagined it, somehow, it turned out even better.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32xy8N8iQ6
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“Ate!” I was jolted back to reality at the sound of Kai’s voice, and as my eyes locked onto him, a wide smile spread across my face. Watching him dash toward me, his energy contagious, made my heart race with excitement. “Hyiee Atee, let me help you with that. ” He greeted me and took the box of cupcakes that I was holding.
“Thank you, babi.”
Kai is Karl’s boyfriend, and ever since I was introduced to him, I’ve treated him like my own little brother. That’s why whenever I talk to Kaiden, this natural ‘ate’ side of me just comes out.
I watched as he walked ahead, cheerful and light, while I followed closely behind.
I wasn’t sure what exactly I was feeling—sadness, joy, nervousness… maybe all of it at once. I didn’t know how to act around them. Especially around him.
I’ve only really been talking to Karl—and sometimes to Kai, too. I became friends with them because of Jyrus. And now that I’ve grown closer to his friends, he’s the one I no longer talk to. We lost contact years ago. I got used to not hearing from him, to the silence. And now, standing here, I realize—I have no idea how to approach him anymore.
As I sat down next to Kai, I found myself unintentionally facing Jyrus. Just as I settled in, Vince and Justine, with their usual bright smiles, greeted me warmly, their voices full of energy and friendly excitement. I tried to match their energy, to return the warmth they were giving me, but it felt like I couldn’t quite find the same spark.
“Sorry, everything was so sudden. I didn’t know how to talk to you all,” I apologized. “Mostly, I only talk to Karl and Kai, so I’m really sorry.”
“That’s okay, at least you came,” Vince said warmly.
“How have you been?” Justine asked.
And just like that, moments later, I found myself slowly opening up to them. Neither of them made me feel uncomfortable with any of their questions.
“By the way,” I glanced at Karl, who suddenly spoke up. “Why are you here, anyway?”10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFifcK7HLE
“Hasn’t Jy told you yet?” I asked, noticing everyone looking at Jyrus. “Oh, it’s not what you guys think,” I added quickly before turning to look at him.
“My mom is opening a restaurant here, and since she’s busy back in Canada, she asked me to come home. I’ll be staying here for a year and a half—or until the restaurant, engineered by Jyrus, is finished,” I explained, managing a small smile.
“Ah, so you’re going to be working together?” Justine asked.
“He’s my client. / He’s my engineer.”
I was surprised when Jyrus and I answered Justine at the same time, and we both looked at each other briefly.
“And they answered at the same time." Karl teased, grinning. I just rolled my eyes at him.
“Let’s just eat already,” Vince said, and we all agreed without hesitation.
As I ate, my focus kept drifting, and I couldn’t help but steal a few glances at Jyrus, my eyes wandering toward him every now and then, despite my best efforts to stay engaged in the conversation. A part of me desperately wanted to break the silence and start a conversation with him, to finally bridge the distance between us. But another part of me hesitated, held back by uncertainty and the fear of saying the wrong thing, leaving me stuck in a tug-of-war between wanting to reach out and the fear of making the wrong move.
So all I did was eat and listen to Vince’s stories. 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjabSNAeKSu
***
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5:50 pm
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It has been almost an hour, ang tanging nagawa ko lang ay makinig sa kanila. I’ve been so preoccupied with the idea of having Jyrus around that it’s starting to affect how I behave. It feels like there’s something holding me back from being myself whenever he’s near. I can’t quite shake the feeling that I’m not acting naturally, almost as if some invisible force is stopping me from truly relaxing and just being me in his presence.
A little while later, I found myself completely absorbed in the breathtaking view of the sun setting. The sky shifted through a spectrum of vibrant colors—fiery oranges, soft pinks, and deep purples—each hue blending seamlessly into the next. The sun, a glowing orb of golden light, slowly sank lower on the horizon, casting a warm, almost ethereal glow across everything in its path. I stood still, lost in the beauty of the moment, feeling the cool evening breeze brush against my skin as the world around me softened in the fading light. Time seemed to slow, and for a few minutes, everything else faded away.
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December 21 2024,
Tears began to trickle down my cheeks, each one moving slowly as if time itself had slowed. I stared blankly at my phone screen, the faint glow illuminating my face in the dim light. My hands trembled slightly, holding the phone with an unsteady grip, as the weight of what I was seeing—or what I wasn’t seeing—settled deep in my chest. The tears seemed to come without warning, blurring the words and images before me, and I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of sadness creeping in, quietly but relentlessly. Each tear that fell felt like a release, but it didn’t ease the ache.
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Mr. Nuñez |10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOqAVa7tCL
I don't want this. I don't like this, talking to you while having feelings for you. 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpQTl98Skv
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“You told me you wouldn’t avoid me,” I said sadly. Damn it. Only now that I want the person I like, does it have to come to this?
I turned off my phone, unsure of how to respond. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, and the silence of the room only amplified the weight of it all. As I lay there, staring up at the ceiling, the message I had received from him kept replaying over and over in my mind, each word echoing in my head. The more I thought about it, the tighter my chest became, like a pressure I couldn’t escape. Before I knew it, the tears started flowing uncontrollably, each sob feeling like it came from a deeper place, an ache that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard I tried to hold it back.
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December 22, 2024
Sadness greeted me when I woke up—I’ve grown so used to Jyrus’s presence that’s why I found myself looking for him today. I know I won’t get any message from him because when he says he’ll do something, he always sticks to it.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuag3TKz9Wg
I unlocked my phone and stared at the blank screen, almost willing it to light up. My eyes stayed fixed, waiting for a notification to appear, as if that single ping could somehow bring clarity or an answer to the storm of uncertainty swirling in my mind. Each passing second felt heavier, the silence stretching on as I anxiously refreshed my inbox, hoping for something—anything—that might break the stillness. But the screen remained empty, and I couldn’t shake the restless feeling gnawing at me. I sighed heavily, the sound escaping me as if I were releasing all the tension I’d been holding in. Why am I waiting for something from him? The thought lingered in my mind, but it only made everything feel more confusing. I didn’t have an answer, just a growing sense of frustration. I knew I shouldn’t be hanging on to the hope that something would come through, but still, I couldn’t stop myself from checking, from hoping that maybe, just maybe, he'd reach out.
Minutes ticked by, each one stretching longer than the last, and still, there was nothing. My eyes were glued to the screen, the silence becoming unbearable. Just as I was about to force myself to get up from the bed and stop obsessing over it, the faint buzz of a notification broke through the quiet. My heart skipped a beat, and I froze, my breath catching as I slowly reached for my phone.
Once again, as I read the email he sent, tears began to fall, slipping down my cheek in silent streams. My heart was heavy, caught in a storm of conflicting emotions. I didn’t know what to feel—happiness and sadness swirled inside me, each pulling in different directions. The words on the screen seemed to blur as my vision clouded with tears, and I felt a strange mix of relief and heartache all at once. It was as if the message had opened something deep inside me, something I wasn’t ready to face, yet couldn’t ignore.
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself and push back the tears that threatened to spill over again. My hands trembled slightly as I typed, but I forced myself to focus, to write a reply. Every word felt heavy, like I was choosing each one carefully, trying to mask the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me. With every sentence, I could feel my chest tightening, but I pushed through, determined to finish what I started.
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“Dap,” I snapped back to reality when I heard him call out my name.
“Ate, are you okay?” Kaiden asked next. “You were spacing out, and you were about to cry earlier, too.” 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiX4J9WKbR
“Y-yeah, I’m…I’m okay,” I answered him, managing a slight smile. I glanced at my watch to check the time. It was already 6 pm; the sun had long since set. “Sorry, I have to go now. There are still things I need to take care of,” I said as I said my goodbyes to them.
“Is your driver picking you up?” Karl asked.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKroAS3qXPg
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“Yes, I’ll just wait for him in the parking lot,” I replied.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCgNKZQW6o
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“I’ll come with you—you’ll be waiting alone,” Karl offered.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6jFN6URiw
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“We’ll come with you, me and Kai, while you wait,” he added.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSsjsCnMFP
“No, I’m fine,” I flashed them a smile. “I’ll go ahead now.” Before leaving, I turned to Justine and Vince. “It was really nice meeting both of you. I’m sorry I couldn’t interact properly, especially with you two.” They both smiled warmly, and Vince patted my shoulder—a silent way of telling me I didn’t need to worry.
“Take care,” Justine said. I nodded slowly in response, though my mind was somewhere else. As I moved, my eyes couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Jyrus. To my surprise, he was already looking at me. For a brief moment, time seemed to freeze, and my heart started racing.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1eQK39ppk
“Bye,” I said to him.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJCFZGcmpW
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“Take care,” he replied.10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUsvOYWc1a
While waiting for my driver to arrive, I couldn’t help but think about what happened earlier. Out of all the things that could’ve crossed my mind, that was the one. I know exactly why the distance between Jyrus and me grew—it’s because of that. Deep down, I’ve always known the love I feel for him is still there, lingering beneath the surface. But I’ve been too scared to face it. So, I buried it, pushing it away, hoping time would make it disappear.
But now, it’s resurfacing—creeping up when I least expect it, threatening to break through the walls I’ve built. I can’t let that happen. Not now, not when everything is so uncertain.
***
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11:30 pm
I’ve been lying here, trying to sleep, but no matter how hard I try, the memories from the past keep creeping in. Every time I close my eyes, they flood my thoughts, playing over and over like a film I can’t pause or stop. It’s as if my mind refuses to let go, holding on to moments I’d rather forget. The weight of them makes it impossible to find peace, and sleep feels like something just out of reach. 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ri8rHxBzm
I stepped out onto my balcony, hoping the cool night air would give me the space I needed to think. The quiet of the evening wrapped around me, offering a brief escape from the whirlwind of thoughts in my mind. I leaned against the railing, looking out into the darkness, letting the stillness calm the chaos inside. The world felt so distant from up here, and for a moment, I was able to breathe without the weight of everything pressing down on me. 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRr64He5DfM
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Moments later, I found myself crying, the tears flowing without me even realizing it. The emotions I had buried deep inside for so long were finally breaking free, each one spilling out uncontrollably. It was like a dam had cracked, and everything I had been holding in came rushing to the surface. The weight of it all—regret, confusion, longing—flooded through me, and I couldn’t stop it, no matter how hard I tried.
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***10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKzpJRXPGR
Tagalog words used on this chapter:10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQozwSv5ie
The term "beh" is a colloquial slang often used in Filipino (Tagalog) informal speech and texting. It’s a casual, friendly way to say “babe” or “baby”, used to address a close friend, loved one, or significant other affectionately. 10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMvC35175x
In Filipino (Tagalog), "ate" (pronounced ah-teh) is a respectful and affectionate term used to address an older sister or an older female relative or friend. It’s a way to show respect to a female who is older than you, often used even if you’re not related by blood—kind of like calling someone "big sister."10Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOp1hgwir5
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