Short stories. - Story 3

INT. TATE MODERN, ST IVES - AFTERNOON

Stable shopkeeper DR GREGORY BUTTERSCOTCH is arguing with sweet housekeeper MASTER HARRY CHAN. GREGORY tries to hug HARRY but he shakes him off.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0bI3qh9wm
Please Harry, don't leave me.

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HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6RDz0DiUa
I'm sorry Gregory, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZzoL7jdm3
I am such a person!

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HARRY frowns.

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HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMcU9CHYQG
I'm sorry, Gregory. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

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HARRY leaves.

GREGORY sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, hopeful doctor MRS CHANTAL MALKOVICH barges in looking flustered.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIShjwPvqK
Goodness, Chantal! Is everything okay?

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3S9N1dqKrL
I'm afraid not.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1byO0nEtS
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEEMauQ8Ko
It's ... an alien ... I saw an evil alien exterminate a bunch of swimmers!

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0LvQDP9q4z
Defenseless swimmers?

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMEsvTmfG0
Yes, defenseless swimmers!

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0BQOjG9F6
Bloomin' heck, Chantal! We've got to do something.

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhkbv8bga9
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyPj5J8hbK
You can start by telling me where this happened.

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXA4qwbl7E0
I was...

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CHANTAL fans herself and begins to wheeze.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xjlMFLrw2
Focus Chantal, focus! Where did it happen?

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMfZW9nW4S
National History Museum, London! That's right - National History Museum, London!

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GREGORY springs up and begins to run.

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EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

GREGORY rushes along the street, followed by CHANTAL. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - SHORTLY AFTER

SHARON PIGEON a spiteful alien terrorises two swimmers.

GREGORY, closely followed by CHANTAL, rushes towards SHARON, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JYRiHYZBR
What is is? What's the matter?

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvxjbtAY2s
That's not just any old alien, that's Sharon Pigeon!

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWm7ebs0Ifz
Who's Sharon Pigeon?

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQW1RKiYYR
Who's Sharon Pigeon? Who's Sharon Pigeon? Only the most spiteful alien in the universe!

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPo08owfu20
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvbqQBYVQf
You can say that again.

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBL4dTG3vwh
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0geHXeuE9
I'm going to need ropes, lots of ropes.

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Sharon turns and sees Gregory and Chantal. She grins an evil grin.

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SHARON187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSIFDBVHvm
Gregory Butterscotch, we meet again.

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMpjUthzDo
You've met?

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8Zr3oFOaO
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

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EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young GREGORY is sitting in a park listening to some drum and bass music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees SHARON. He takes off his headphones.

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SHARON187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrnQCCd4CS
Would you like some chocolate?

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GREGORY's eyes light up, but then he studies SHARON more closely, and looks uneasy.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84C43IK7em
I don't know, you look kind of spiteful.

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SHARON187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWglWUTRBMU
Me? No. I'm not spiteful. I'm the least spiteful alien in the world.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVix2ZoYVS
Wait, you're a alien?

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GREGORY runs away, screaming.

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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - PRESENT DAY

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SHARON187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2T4XQ6MYqv
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodg1O599Fr
(To GREGORY) You ran away?

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFS9WTdYXiB
(To CHANTAL) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

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GREGORY turns to SHARON.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisc43cfWvi
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

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GREGORY runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxc866KzYEG
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with ropes.

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SHARON187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIU1A28rp2P
I'm not scared of you.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nQ6tSBGV0
You should be.

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EXT. A LIBRARY - LATER THAT DAY

GREGORY and CHANTAL walk around searching for something.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHtm3fukFv
I feel sure I left my ropes somewhere around here.

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSu0Il2fJqI
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly ropes.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeogINKq26
You know nothing Chantal Malkovich.

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ690HZ9y8Uy
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.

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Suddenly, SHARON appears, holding a pair of ropes.

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SHARON187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRjNaSqwXe
Looking for something?

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOFhwWrOmM
Crikey, Gregory, she's got your ropes.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3pwhktB2g
Tell me something I don't already know!

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDIiSJfjwb
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nxoc7AjXC
I know that already!

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpVsX2JOBC
I pick my nose and eat it.

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SHARON187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQA8fgXZL2g
(appalled) Dude!

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While SHARON is looking at CHANTAL with disgust, GREGORY lunges forward and grabs his deadly ropes. He wields them, triumphantly.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoxRwUnjyW
Prepare to die, you spiteful cauliflower!

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SHARON187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgmurwIKbU
No please! All I did was exterminate a bunch of swimmers!

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HARRY enters, unseen by any of the others.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ638XKmQl7S
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those swimmers were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Gregory Butterscotch defender of innocent swimmers.

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SHARON187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEb9jp5nHyu
Don't hurt me! Please!

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQIV0EhlXQ
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these ropes on you right away!

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SHARON187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oD4MU4MSo
Because Gregory, I am your mother.

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GREGORY looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljVfjSt1QG
No you're not!

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SHARON187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZr8mAzapDX
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

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SHARON tries to grab the ropes but GREGORY dodges out of the way.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QELaT8VTb
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?

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Unexpectedly, SHARON slumps to the ground.

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtpuzfi4if
Did she just faint?

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvODSSAmgQ
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly ropes.

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GREGORY crouches over SHARON's body.

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHC1z81m899
Be careful, Gregory. It could be a trick.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0cX7hwp23
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Sharon Pigeon is dead!

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5V7mDk9b7
What?

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLRzIyQH98
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.

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CHANTAL claps her hands.

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CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFFqOF7UQq
So your ropes did save the day, after all.

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HARRY steps forward.

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HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIw6MOjYvc
Is it true? Did you kill the spiteful alien?

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSH1ly7eR2
Harry how long have you been...?

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HARRY puts his arm around GREGORY.

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HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCyYA1iSEo
Long enough.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcauDKEz1ZI
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Sharon Pigeon.

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HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumwZ14wxcZ
Then the swimmers are safe?

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9e72bN3BJ
It does seem that way!

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A crowd of vulnerable swimmers enter, looking relived.

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HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkTRFZL1hK
You are their hero.

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The swimmers bow to GREGORY.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSguNgqzc3r
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Sharon Pigeon will never exterminate swimmers ever again, is enough for me.

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HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nTHPnACpW
You are humble as well as brave!

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One of the swimmers passes GREGORY a magic ring

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HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGuWfv5XRp
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzgECCIsTG
I couldn't possibly.

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Pause.

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GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NdqBppD8h
Well, if you insist.

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiwnIvx4q1

GREGORY takes the ring.

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmfsdd6zhm

GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VHg5F2ML0
Thank you.

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9opmmxM0a

The swimmers bow their heads once more, and leave.

GREGORY turns to HARRY.

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHuKsgz1aL

GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYcpQhUKi5
Does this mean you want me back?

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CzZw6DhSd

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBjfS1p80N

HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkqGZZF4nB
Oh, Gregory, of course I want you back!

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvANMsHlawF

GREGORY smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNm51xKMqg9

GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWAnLPrLB7
Well you can't have me.

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3frR1pmYzX

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRk5m0uE30

HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcN2kKAPuB
WHAT?

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpq0yP0yWh

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe54gXSttaX

GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJV9X9YpiK
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a alien to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTR68atLo8N

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShU4kwFvE5

HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOGU5omF4T
But...

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkAsxjF8mW

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMpmljs6FH

GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlmURvQXL3
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Chantal.

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryuFZU75S4

CHANTAL grins.

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAHKGmntG1

HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vpB5K4iFf
But...

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3XS5kKUfW

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nlYy32cBb

CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnq9zhxNmJs
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevJlyIjNoo

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pYpi3YWQn

HARRY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gdGTYzJy2
Gregory?

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uk1MzeWmk

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCMHV7FteK

GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72bgkAGIeJ
I'm sorry Harry, but I think you should skidaddle.

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs579kxTvEb

HARRY leaves.

CHANTAL turns to GREGORY.

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopVXrcyzd2

CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfya7NQMZ5
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdalqi9hK1c

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlAkfKSS5Z

GREGORY187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7V8DNnkxGD
Of course you are!

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngTmql5B4u

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly CHANTAL stops.

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06HbSE6ibc

CHANTAL187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwMeEKLfCa
When I said I pick my nose and eat it, you know I was just trying to distract the alien don't you?

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEDl6E9cGW

187Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGM7K57zC5

THE END

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