Miska was in on it as well. And Seran was married to a Blackhelm, that's how her son Roark was one. In the Clan culture, the women choose whether to keep their maiden name. Miska chose to take her husband's. Again, I don't want to talk too much about that stuff so it doesn't become an info dump and bore the reader haha

Thank you SO much for taking the time for that revision. When I am writing a first draft, my grammar can get so sloppy and I miss stupid mistakes. I really appreciate the second eye more than you know, thank you!

Also, I've probably said this before, but I keep noticing it, so I'll mention it anyway. When you write dialogue, you continue to punctuate it with commas although the clause you're connecting the quotes to doesn't directly describe the quote.

For example, you wrote something like, Her boldness caught Miska by surprise, "What if there was a way we could give your daughter justice?" Notice that there is nothing in the clause "Her boldness caught Miska by surprise…" that denotes how Thistle said, "What if…" If you want to connect the two with a comma, it needs to describe how Thistle said what she said. (e.g. Her boldness caught Miska by surprise as she asked, "What if…?")

You do the opposite sometimes, cutting off the description of the quote with a period instead of a connecting it with a comma. (i.e. "This isn't poison." Roil Huntax stated in horror rather than "This isn't poison," Roil Huntax…)

I've suggested some edits, but I didn't do a very thorough job, so there are probably some mistakes that I've missed. If you need any more clarification, let me know, and I'll do my best to explain anything I've commented on your story. :)

@Aretice N. Treader, seriously SERIOUSLY appreciate the help. 

@Frances, No problem! I don't mind helping out a fellow writer at all. And because this is a first draft, I don't think you should be hard on yourself for making mistakes and whatnot. It's still perfectly understandable, and you can always go back and edit later. What's important is that you're getting your words and ideas out.

Personally, I think Clansmen culture is fascinating, so if you started a little encyclopedia of sorts about it, I'd probably read it.